File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Hey /b/, I need some advice.

I'm a single parent (twelve year old son named Jeremy, but we'll get to him later.)I work a shitty job taking tickets in a parking garage. Yeah, I know, it's pathetic, but what are you gonna do, it pays the bills.

Anyway, back to the point. I came home after a long fucking day's work tonight (overtime again, but at least I'll have some extra cash) and as soon as I open the door, I notice two things. the first of which is my son's lame assed music playing waaaay louder than it should be. We live in a FUCKING APARTMENT and it's past 11:00, the neighbors are going to get us kicked out. (fucking liberals)
>> Anonymous
The second thing to hit me is the smell. I can't really describe it, but it fucking REEKED. And I've spent three years as a trash collector... So I follow the smell to my bedroom, and when I open the door, I see shit smeared EVERYWHERE. all over the walls, mashed into the carpet, my bedspread, on dresser, EVERYWHERE. I nearly threw up right then and there. I guess I was in shock, because I couldn't think of anything. My brain shut off, until I saw Jeremy with his face painted like some kind of Squaw savage chief and his hair all messed up (his hands were shitstained...) roll out from under my bed. He gave me this look, and tried to laugh as if I'd think it was funny, but the expression on my face must have looked like murder, because what should have been a giggle came out as more of a whimper. He looked like he was going to vomit. Calmly, I took a deep breath, and told him in a monotone voice to "Go into his room, strip naked, and stand facing a corner". He's been in there for the better part of a half hour now. I keep peering through the door at him to make sure he didn't move. He's naked, and crying, and shivering, but not moving or speaking.

So, here's the advice part. What do I do to the fucker? I turn to you, my beloved /b/, because despite how fucked up anon is, I think you are the only people who can really grasp my disposition. In b4 barrel roll & an hero.

pic unrelated, it's rubber Johnny.
>> Anonymous
You know your son is snorting crack while you're sitting here on your computer, right?
>> Anonymous
Clean him up and figure out what the fuck happened?
>> Anonymous
WHATS THE SECOND THING FAGGOT
>> Anonymous
Make him clean it up.. with his tongue
>> Anonymous
OP here

>>54056650

>The second thing to hit me is the smell

Also: please swallow a knife.
>> Anonymous
you're a single mother who frequents /b/?


no wonder your kid is a coprophillic, retarded psychopath.
>> Anonymous
Get him to clean himself up, get dressed, clean up all the shit, and inquire as to what the fuck happened in your apartment.
>> Anonymous
waiting for epic bel air
>> Anonymous
Do a barrel roll
>> Anonymous
>>54057002

Single father, mother died, suicide when he was six, but for obvious reasons we told him she died of a heart condition (which I suppose is partly true in a morbid poetic sort of way)

>>54057031

He's been acting up in class, calling kids names, and the other day I waked in on him beating my cat with a yard stick. He's been acting way too much recently, and I need to scare him straight.
>> Anonymous
>>54057517
he wants you to give him head
>> Anonymous
chris benoit
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
>>54058019
>>54058019
>>54058019
>>54058019
>> Anonymous
Find him a reason not to act out and sorry to say but your not good enough of a reason.

Also-

This is a 2/10 video completion and the next day for massive lulz is on 3/15.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4cr9g_the-road-to-february-10-2008_politics

Copy pasta.

Do it fagots!
>> Anonymous
>>54057517

Did the acting up etc start recently? Did it start after his mother died?
>> Anonymous
Oranges don't leave bruises!
>> Anonymous
Beat his ass?
>> Anonymous
>>54057517
Get him some therapy. It straightened out some of my friends.
>> Anonymous
Well, my parents always restored to beatings with whatever was at hand - belts, wooden spoons, switches, shoes, rolling pins ... if he's 12, he's old enough to know better and way past old enough to take that beating like a man.
>> Anonymous
>>54057517
Your son shows early signs of being a serial killer.
Do something that will really fuck him up to make sure he becomes one.
I'd suggest going out and finding the first guy you see, get him to come to your apartment.
Then make your son wear a dress while you make him watch you fuck that random guy you just brought to your apartment.
>> Anonymous
stick it in his pooper. that'll straighten him up
>> Anonymous
Take him to a Scientologist.

They are the authorities on the mind, and your son's sounds like it needs some working on.

Also, this post is made of 100% recycled sarcasm.
>> Anonymous
>>54058296

Jesus God /b/, I'm not looking for a fucking therapist here, I wanna know how to make this a night my kid'll never fucking forget. You can leave the parenting to me, I just want some inspiration, and I thought I'd share.
>> Anonymous
get him to clean it up.

have you ever, um, tried asking him what the fuck is up?
>> Anonymous
>>54057517

well, thats easy

"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."

read this and then enjoy being a troll
>> Anonymous
He's obviously been on /b/ while you were away.

passcode the shit out of your computer first off, second off get him to clean himself up in the tub, give him a bucket with soap and water and tell him he's not getting out of that room until it's clean, beat his ass until he obeys. Then make him bathe again.

So, pretty shitty day eh?
>> Anonymous
get him a hooker and then tell him she had aids...but she really didn't...
>> Anonymous
Your son = future sociopath

that would explain the bullying, animal abuse, and fascination with feces.

Just give him a GG allin record to get his attention focused elsewhere.
>> Anonymous
>>54058587
>>54058587
>>54058587
>>54058587
>>54058587
>>54058587
>>54058587
>> Anonymous
>>54058587
>>54058587
>>54058587
>>54058587
>> Anonymous
>>54058882
...or did she
>> Anonymous
Liberals are the only reason you're not a GOD-DAMNED IGNORANT SERF.
>> Anonymous
OP you must lick all that shit off the walls and then lick him clean. It's the only way.
>> Anonymous
On a more serious note, make him clean it up. All of it. Properly.

if he throws up, he'll have to clean that up too. Whatever other punishment you have for him, get that shit (no pun intended) out of the way first.
>> Anonymous
>>54056540

Snorting crack, wow! That sounds like a super fun time!
>> Anonymous
beating him probably won't fix the problem, but it will at least get him off your ass.

if you're lucky he'll get involved in some organized crime or some shit like Jimmy Burke.. another sociopath who got the shit beat out of him when he was young.
>> Anonymous
have you tried taling to the boy?

or, i dont know, raping him to death
>> Anonymous
pic unrelated?
>> Anonymous
>>54058929
>>54058933
Mind hive
>> Anonymous
>>54058665

spank him. Or, less sadistically, ask him why he did what he did. Get to the root of it. I don't know much about smearing, but its definitely a symptom of SOMETHING bad. You need to have a serious, long chat here.

then get him to clean up his shit.
>> Anonymous
Oh yeah, and while he's cleaning, make his music and whatever he plays it on disappear. Claim you chucked it.
>> Anonymous
Update: I just took another peek in his room, he stopped crying, but his legs and the floor around him is wet, I think he just peed. I'm thinking of doing that shit you do to dogs when the pee on the floor...
>> Anonymous
post pictures of shitty rooms.
>> Anonymous
Get him cleaned up and then tell him its time to make another incest video for youtube.
>> Anonymous
aphex twin video still.
>> Anonymous
why the fuck did you make him get naked?
>> Anonymous
>>54059573
Seconded.
>> Anonymous
i want link for this video plz
>> Anonymous
>>54059573

obviously he was naked while smearing shit all over his dad's room
>> Anonymous
Pics or it....
Wait. I don't want to see that shit...
>> Anonymous
Just don't hit him in the head, he obviously needs whatever braincells he has left.
>> Anonymous
Yeah, noisy liberals.
>> Anonymous
OP fails at life.

This is the evidence.

Fucking retards breed retards.
>> Anonymous
>>54059508
no camera, hardly have enough to keep this damned computer runnig...

>>54059573
Why the hell not?
>> Anonymous
Punch him in the dick and tell him to straighten his shit out.
>> Anonymous
How much do you wish you'd kept your fat thighs shut along with your mouth?
>> Anonymous
>>54059656
>Calmly, I took a deep breath, and told him in a monotone voice to "Go into his room, strip naked, and stand facing a corner".
>"Go into his room, strip naked, and stand facing a corner".
>his room, strip naked, and stand
>strip naked
>> Anonymous
>>54059573

Maybe because the kid had shit all over his clothes, you stupid stupid nigger.
>> Anonymous
>>54059566

wow, did you work that out all on your own in only half an hour, and with the only clue being the name of the video?

Kudos
>> Anonymous
>>54060042
>>54060042
>>54060042
>>54060042
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Son, we need to talk...
>> Anonymous
I FUCKING LOVE APHEX TWIN!
>> Anonymous
fuck his shit up then tell him to take his aggression out on the weak kid in class, not daddy.
>> Anonymous
Beat the fuck out of your kid.Seriously,and make him believe its for his own good.

also Conservatives are much more likely to complain about noise.I've never met an uptight liberal...
>> Anonymous
haha the fuck, ok, this is on /b/, so chances are this is some stupid shit that doesn't matter. But if I enter make believe land for even a minute and wonder, gee, this is some fucked up shit, then why the hell are you on here in the first place. And why the hell haven't you figured out why he smeared shit everywhere? Ok, despite the obvious flaws with your parenting in this scenario, if you want him to really remember this night, you could oh I don't know, MAKE HIM CLEAN THE SHIT UP. And stand there as he does it. If he won't, than beat his ass.
>> Anonymous
READ A CHILD CALLED IT. THEN DO A CHILD CALLED IT.

GO!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Son, we need to talk...
>> Anonymous
The serious answer: Calmly talk with him about why he did it, help him clean it up, get him to a therapist asap.

The better answer: Abuse him sexually right now, then cover him in honey and tie him to a tree outside. Come out in a bear suit and pretend you're going to eat him, then sexually abuse him again while in the bear costume.
>> Anonymous
Beat him and then make him clean it up. Is it really that hard to figure out?
>> Anonymous
you red neck tool
beating your kid isn't going to do any good
neither is therapy
ask him talk to him
reason with him
he's 12 he isn't a kid any more
tell him what happened to his mom
and then give him a nice beating but dont physically damage him
>> Anonymous
TITS OR GTFO
>> Anonymous
The kid has something in the back of his mind that is trying to get out. It was fighting with his rational thinking when he started acting up, and finally disabled it and took over with this situation. The only thing to do is to get him back into his normal state of mind, and communicate with him in several different ways to see what responses he might give. From there, you'll have to decipher what would be buried back there that could cause these actions. Note that chances are it is normally something very traumatizing that he will have a substantial memory of. Although this could also be a number of tiny things that amount to one giant stress. Also let him know its okay, and give him reeses for breakfast.
>> Anonymous
Wtf is this shit?

Tits or GTFO lady
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
jesus what the fuck has happened to /b/

all of these helping, kind, considerate words

jeeze i feel sick listening to you rant on feelings and shit. you're weak, so leave /b/ and let the fucked up people get back to their fun.

thanks, bye.
>> Anonymous
your story sucks. go touch your son.
>> Anonymous
i say smak him upside the head, make him clean his shit out of the room, then smak him upside the head again when hes done, and when he goes to bed... smear shit on his wall so he can wake up to the shock he gave you
>> Anonymous
>>54060535

I'm a redneck tool because I WORK for a living and want to hold onto my money rather than pissing it away in taxes. My kid's fucked as it is (obviously) so why don't you think of a way to tell him that his mother blew her brains out a week and a half after his birthday because she suddenly decided she was a "Lesbian".
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
force him into underage prostitution that he'll never pay out of...
>> Anonymous
Hit him with a fucking bench.
>> Anonymous
and make him clean that up too
>> Anonymous
You fail hard. An hero is the only way
>> Anonymous
>>54058587
>meet
>>54060783
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>54060356
jonah goldberg here
i disagree
>> Anonymous
pic of shitty room or GTFO
>> Anonymous
>>54061062
first
i called you a redneck tool because this is /b/ and im a dick to everyone on /b/ so quit crying
second
my mom killed her self when i was 8 aswell and my sister was raped then killed when i was 11,
shit happens stop fucking crutching your kid
>> Anonymous
Why haven't you started molesting him yet? Pics or didn't happen.
>> Anonymous
Grape flavoured water and jalapeno chips taste like freezer burn.
>> Anonymous
>>54061062
>>why don't you think of a way to tell him that his mother blew her brains out a week and a half after his birthday because she suddenly decided she was a "Lesbian".
>>a way to tell him that his mother blew her brains out a week and a half after his birthday because she suddenly decided she was a "Lesbian".
>>his mother blew her brains out a week and a half after his birthday because she suddenly decided she was a "Lesbian".
>>Your mother blew her brains out a week and a half after your birthday because she suddenly decided she was a "Lesbian".

Also, tits or GTFO
>> Anonymous
>>54061062
without camera we have no proof.
>> Anonymous
I hope you're a troll. I really do. Just take him to the hospital, tell them what he did. They can evaluate if he has mental issues and get him help, if you try to "scare him straight" its only going to get worse. And if you don't want to take up to him shooting you in the face with a shotgun while hes on the way to school to do the same with his peers and teachers. Just. Get. Him. Help. Remember you are his everything, his moral support, his guidance, and if hes acting out he needs you more than anything right now. Don't fucking fail raising your children, you will want him to take care of you when your old and yourPENISis shriveled. Maybe he can buy you a nice asian hooker.
>> Anonymous
so you're sitting in a shit filled house with your psycho kid naked in him room and the first thing you do is hop on 4chan?
>> Anonymous
>>54061860

what the fuck would any good /b/tard do?
>> Anonymous
make him pay rent, or paint his room with the shit and make him live with it for a day or too.
>> Anonymous
kill him for being a faggot.
>> Anonymous
beat the shit out of him
it's the only way
my parents beat me; i know.
>> Anonymous
Goodjob. He's gonna be a serial killer.
>> Anonymous
>>54061627
Not OP, but...
Look how fucking good you turned out, you dick.
>> Anonymous
This thread needs more beating.
Kids who get their daily beating are 98% less snotty than kids who don't!
>> Anonymous
Sounds like your son has a classic case of headcrabs. Only way to fix the problem is to shoot him with a shotgun. Be sure to aim for the headcrab on his face.
>> Anonymous
lots of kids do that, you are a shitty parent. aand, get of /b/ and play catch with your kid. thats your problem
>> Anonymous
>>54061860

>so you're sitting in a shit filled house with your psycho kid naked in him room and the first thing you do is hop on 4chan?

I LOL'D
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>54061952
>>54061952
>>54061952
>>54061952
>>54061952
>>54061952

Oh Christ what the fuck do I do!?
>> Anonymous
>>54059438
Castrate him?
Make him clean it up then take him to a mental hospital for an analysis.
Also, have you asked him why he did it?
>> Anonymous
You wife/girlfriend was a weak fucked mental bitch who deserved to die. This obviously is manifesting in your son. Or it could be him trying to deal wit h his lack of mother/caregiver while you work. Clean him up put some mother fucking clothes on him. Have him help you clean up the god damn room and get him some fucking counseling. I have a masters degree in behavioral psych. FUCKING WITH HIM WILL ONLY MAKE HIM WORSE. NOW STOP BEING A SCIFAG TOOL AND CLEAN THE SHIT UP AND GET HIM SOME HELP BEFORE YOU FAIL LIKE YOUR SHIT ASS WIFE.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Item#: SCP-173
Special Containment Procedures: Item SPC-173 is to be kept in a locked container at all times. When personnel must enter SCP-173's container, no fewer than 3 may enter at
any time and the door is to be relocked behind them. At all times, two persons must maintain direct eye contact with SCP-173 until all personnel have vacated and relocked the container.
Description: Moved to Site19 1993. Origin is as of yet unknown. It is constructed from concrete and rebar with traces of Krylon brand spraypaint. SCP-173 is animate extremely hostile.
The object cannot move while within a direct line of sight. Line of sight must not be broken at any time with SCP-173. Personnel assigned to enter container are instructed to alert one another before blinking.
Object is reported to attack by snapping the neck at the base of the skull, or by strangulation. In the event of an attack, personal are to observe Class 4 hazardous object containment procedures.

Personnel report sounds of scraping stone originating from within the container when no one is present inside. This is considered normal, and any change in this behaviour should be reported to the acting HMCL supervisor on duty.

The reddish brown substance on the floor is a combination of feces and blood. Origin of these materials is unknown. The enclosure must be cleaned on a bi-weekly basis.
>> Anonymous
delete system32
>> Anonymous
Do a barrel roll!
>> Anonymous
>>54062939

oh shi
>> Anonymous
>>54062936
fake shit is fake
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>54063160

DON'T FUCKING BLINK
>> Anonymous
Single mom, eh? Sucks for the boy. A boy needs a father to ween him off his mom's tit. He's trying to get off your tit but doesn't know how. He's trying to disgust you enough to abandon him in an unconscious attempt to find his father. It's sad.
>> Anonymous
>>54063502

no, surprise concrete monsters are real!
>> Anonymous
>>54063588
Single father you blind nigger chicken
>> Anonymous
So your son's a deranged shit-paint nutjob. Hey, at least he aint a Scientologist!
>> Anonymous
>>54063644
anyway does this shit belong in /x/
>> Anonymous
Single father, eh? Sucks for the boy. A boy needs a mother to ween him off his dad's tit. He's trying to get off your tit but doesn't know how. He's trying to disgust you enough to abandon him in an unconscious attempt to find his mother. It's sad.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
don't you idiots realize that OP is a dude with some kind of fucked up oedipal fetish, trolling for spank material on /b/?
>> Anonymous
don't you idiots realize that OP is a dude with some kind of fucked up oedipal fetish, trolling for spank material on /b/?
>> Anonymous
>>54056188
fucking liberals?
i hope u reconsider - without liberals you'd be bottom feeding in a tight ass caste system. u are obviously a shitty parent and have no business on /b/. go be a real parent and help out your kid - go with paternal instinct and do what you believe is the correct way to handle this. you've known the kid for... 12 years longer than us? christ get the fuck out of here. you are dumb as shit and probably deserve the feces pow wow your son threw for you. fuck off
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
You should pull a Mr. Hands on him

http://www.zippyvideos.com/4309306301579146/mrhands/

WATCH IT FEGS
>> Anonymous
>>54056188
Dad?!
>> Anonymous
>>54065638
saw that one comming
>> Anonymous
DUDE

i fucking LOVE rubber johnny!
>> Anonymous
You're son is showing early signs of becoming a sociopath, you need to get him to a therapist ASAP because he could wind up being a true fuck up and wind up on.......STOP READING THIS YOU FUCKS! This is /b/, we should've told this guy to beat his kid and ram something up his ass just to teach him a lesson and that's it. BUT NO, you fuckfaces feel like "helping" this little kid and this father with his parenting skills. Guess what! This isn't a fucking help forum, it's /b/! Go become a fucking miracle worker and leave us alone to our Lulz and fun!

You're all becoming gaiafags! ALL OF YOU!

P.S. Beat the kid up, or be a total wuss of a father and take him to a therapist so your kid can be made fun of when his friends ask him why he needs to see a therapist. Trust me, dude, the best way to make a kid learn is to sit them down, ask them why they did it, then SMACK THEM IS THE CHEEK before they can answer the god damned question! Your kid is a total douchebag and a fuckface: Make him wear baggy pants (assuming he wears tight pants), make him cut his hair short (assuming it's long), and make him listen to Rush for 3 hours straight. It'll set him right!
>> Anonymous
>>54065463
Mr Hands,
Great vid