File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
It is now work secrets time.

Go.
>> Anonymous
Ok.
>> Anonymous
i jizzed in OP's thread
>> Anonymous
I burnt your milk
>> Anonymous
No, it isnt.
>> Anonymous
yes it is
>> Anonymous
I work at Best Buy, and I don't really have any secrets except that my bosses make me (cashier here) try and sell you guys magazine subscriptions. You get 8 issues free then it automatically renews itself and starts charging you UP THE ASS.
>> Anonymous
Burnt milk is now a meme
>> Anonymous
i fucked all the apple pies, and then i ate them by myself ._.
>> Anonymous
i steal left over copper at the end of jobs.
>> Anonymous
I work for a TV media agency in Memphis Tennessee
I been 4chuckaluckin' for about 3yrs now
>> Anonymous
i rape my classmates, male and female.

w00t lolicon.
>> Anonymous
When i worked at mcdonalds, i put pubes in the deep friers every day
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>71395031
>> Anonymous
You fags should get real jobs, not this pathetic retail shit.
>> Anonymous
I have sex with my female students.
>> Anonymous
>>71395136
Another electrician? Amazing.
>> Anonymous
A girl rubbed her ass against my dick for a while and I came in the stationary cupboard.
>> Anonymous
I'm a student teacher, I fuck high school girls
>> Anonymous
i work at wal-mart and there's no dirty secrets like putting pubes in anything but uhhh

all that bread you see on sale for 99cents is about to go stale

annddd uhh

also don't be dicks to the cartpushers cause they take your license plate and wait for you to come back

that's when a cart hits your car
lulz
>> Anonymous
I am a admin here. Every bit of CP you post, I save it before I delete it.
>> Anonymous
>>71395704
Passing off Peep Show as truth, really?
>> Anonymous !9CAoTGUoQY
i work night shifts at hotel receprion in europe. lurking /b/ all night long and getting good money for it.
>> Anonymous
>>71395561
Big jobs theres so many bags of it no one keeps track 1 full bag of scrap wire = 200$ bonus
>> Anonymous
i work at an apple store, and we've had 3G iphones in the back room under lock and key for about a week or so. they are going to be announced at steve jobs' keynote on monday for immediate sale, and no one is sure about it, and the majority of the public thinks there is no way we could have kept something so anticipated a secret for so long.
>> Anonymous
I sell TVs all day at Wal-Mart and if you're a jackass to me I sometimes accedentially drop your TV.
>> Anonymous
>>71396198

ITT: Lies.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
im a spider expert i fuck my imaginary students
>> Anonymous
I'm a hooker and I have aids.
>> Anonymous
I'm aids and I infect hookers.
>> Anonymous
I do sound tech for a theatre. I've got a booth in the auditorium so I can hear whats going on, and during the musical numbers I like to turn the volume up so the audience below me can't hear me and jack off.
>> Anonymous
God damn newfags. Work secrets threads are for secrets from work that your boss doesnt want the public to know about. Like Mcdonalds recycling meat from the trashcan and shit like that, or how AOL only requires you know where the person lives in order to change their email password through their 24/hr phone tech support. Shit like that.

Not "Lawl I masturbated in the stockroom". gb2/gaia.
>> ???????????????????????????Anonymous????????????
I used to work in QC at a large company that produces home pregnancy tests. I knowingly let through two batches of defective test strips because I hated the company. There were probably hundreds in there. Enjoy.
>> Anonymous
I worked at round table and if we found roaches in the meat we were not to throw it out, just remove the (usually alive) cockroach and continue topping the pizza.
>> Anonymous
>>71395136
lol, another builder/plumber, but its a good racket.

>>71395307give this man a pay rise.

>>713958537proxys?

>>71396198lul nubs

>>71396488after they have seen it working and while its in the box and paid for while noone is looking i hope.
>> Anonymous
>>71396895
>>71396895
>>71396895
>>71396895
>>71396895
>>71396895
>>71396895
>>71396895
>>71396895
>>71396895
>>71396895

this
>> Anonymous
I work for AP and I announce that Hilalry Clinton is dropping out before she really does.
>> Anonymous
I sell alcohol and cigarettes to anyone who comes up to the counter without checking ID. I've sold to people that were blatantly kids and no complaints have ever resulted.
>> Anonymous
I work as Customer Care for Verizon Wireless.

First, a PROTIP: If you have any problem or questions whatsoever, DO NOT go to a store. Those fuckers get paid by commission and will lie to your face if it will get them a sale. Always call the help line. *611. Always.

At least 50% of my calls are due to shit the store fucked up.

And now the work secrets;

I can give you up to $50 credit no questions asked. More than that goes for review to see if it is valid.

No one knows how Cell phone companies are allowed to get away with the month in advance billing. They just do.

I get Phishing calls all the time. It's fun.

If you call in saying you are Tammy Smith and you know her password/SSN and sound like Bob Ross... by VZW rule I am forced to believe you.

Most of the charges on your bill are total bullshit. Activation fee? Someone pressed a button. VZW surcharges? Shit is made up.
>> Anonymous
>>71397220
lol, you don't get to see your TV working before you buy it. We keep all our TVs on these big metal racks in the back of the store where the customers can't go. If you piss me off it might just slip out of my hands when I take it off the rack.
>> Anonymous
>>71396871

Zack?
>> Anonymous
>>71395853
God damn it snacks, you promised you'd stop.


-mootykins
>> Anonymous
I work at shop and save. We often jizz inside of the cream chease and then repackage it using our complicated machinery. The boss encourages us, and makes us jack him off into the sugar containers.
>> Anonymous
>>71397773
When I send a picture message, they usually fail. Why? Is there any way I can just get it to keep sending until it works?
>> Anonymous
i fapped at work
>> Anonymous
When Shauna was helping me get Bob out of his recliner(nursing home) I couldn't stop staring down her shirt, because she's got huge boobs and I want to jack off on them.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>71393872
Roofing secret:
If metal flashing is scratched up a little too badly to get away with by default, the scratches will disappear like magic if you rub some transmission oil onto it. It'll look like new for at least a few months before it weathers off.
>> Anonymous
I answer phones at a government agency. When a caller acts like an asshole over the phone, I put them on hold and leave them sitting there for awhile.

If you're nice, I'll do everything in my power to help you.
>> Anonymous
I work in a biomedical research lab. We have these cells called HeLa Cells that were taken from the cervix of a woman who died over 50 years ago:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HeLa
I'd go into the detail but the only people who would find it interesting probably already know.
>> ???????????????????????????suomynonA????????????
I sit at my desk and do nothing.
>> Anonymous
>>71398180

You heard the man, call *611, jackass. This is not fucking Verizon Wireless Customer Care.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I work at a day care center.. Use your imagination.
>> Anonymous
I work at wal-mart and I dont ask kids their ages for games...fuck if I like Halo cuz eh kills aliens and doesn't afraid of anything then kids should like it too.
>> Anonymous
someone stole my stapler. I'm going to burn down this office soon.
>> Anonymous
sometimes if i burn the milk i just serve it to you.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>71395230
IS DAT SUM MEARL PURVIS?!?
>> Anonymous
>>71398573
I just did, they didn't tell me shit. I figure he'd know something better.
>> Anonymous
I work in McDonalds and I took a shit on the floor in the bathroom and blammed it on a homeless guy.
>> Anonymous
I work at Petco, and my boss has this dog that he's obsessed with. Its so bad that I get treated like a fucking dog. And I swear I'm going to paint his fucking office with that little bastards blood...
>> Anonymous
>>71398410
Holy shit! Pretty damn creepy.
>> Anonymous
>>71398180
Probably on the edge of the extended network area. That or your phone is shitting the bed.

Also another PROTIP: Don't get the Insurance unless it is the extended warranty. Think about it, it's $5 a month... and when you use the insurance, they charge you $50. Insurance on a phone is only a smart move for the first 10 months, after that fucking drop it off, unless you have a freakin Voyager or some other high end monstrosity.
>> Anonymous
>>71398410
Hey, how'd you get that job? That's the sort of thing I'm interested in.
>> Anonymous
>>71399159
Ahh I see, So theres no way I can make it keep sending either?
>> Anonymous
>>71398944
To be fair, most of us just want to get you off the phone and sound like we are reading a script and hardly listen. I'm still new enough to this job that I don't do that...yet.

I give out credits like the motherfucking fist of the north star because it's not my money, booya!
>> Anonymous
I'm a Security Officer and we're supposed to be "visual deterrents" only. meaning we're just paid to stand there and watch people do shit... of course there are always those fuckers that think its their "duty" to stop people... and if they do they'll lose their jobs. Good easy money :-p
>> Anonymous
>>71399268
college dur
>> Anonymous
>>71399367
That probably depends on the model of your phone. I'm not aware of any with a built-in retry because with most carriers, you're likely to be charged for each attempt.
>> Anonymous
I worked at a movie theater and we were watching you wile you had sex
>> Anonymous
>>71399367
Not really, no. You can try updating your PRL with *228 option 1. That tells your phone what are the best towers to use in your area. No guarantees.

Also; if you call in and are trying to get something from us you can up the ante by requesting a supervisor. I am required to find one for you to speak to. No guarantees there though because most supervisers have been working call centers for so long they are bitter, hateful husks of a human and will give you nothing unless it is a truly valid and documented problem.
>> Anonymous
I work at a MAJOR meat processing plant. Nearly all the workers are illegal mexicans. One guy was fired for shitting his pants on the job, TOO MANY TIMES. Not the first time. These people make the ham, hotdogs, sausages, and other meat you eat. We supply Jimmy John's, Subway, and Sonic, among other major chains. The meat you buy by the pound at the supermarket deli? Yep, made by people who shit their pants. Enjoy your sandwiches, carnivores.
>> Anonymous
I sneezed in a stromboli
>> Anonymous
>>71398718
I'm the Wal-Mart associate who mentioned dropping TVs above.

I am very strict about video game/movie sales. I ask for IDs if you look underage and wont sell video games to them without a parent.

I also ask for IDs on any woman who looks like she's under 40. They act like it annoys them, but they LOVE it because it makes them feel young. I've gotten laid twice because of that little tactic.
>> PharmacyTech
Pharmacy tech...sometimes give people 29 tablets instead of 30, just because i dont wanna open a new bottle
>> Anonymous
>>71399268
Biochemistry for 3 years followed by working your ass off while being treated like shit by your superiors. If you want to do something similar (which I'm planning to do) and you're a britfag join the army as a medical technician and they train you and pay you decent wages and you actually get some respect from the people you work for because they know that without you they're fucked.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>71399822
fukken lol
>> Compassion
My boss keeps this little plastic honey jar for her salads when she eats lunch in the office sometimes. I masterbated into it. She then threw it away 2 weeks later because she thought it tasted funny.
>> Anonymous
I work at Radio Shack and it is ludicrously easy to rob the place. All you have to do is walk up to the front counter and demand that we hand over all the money in the drawer. We'll even put it in a bag for you. As long as your face is hidden, we can't do shit and they won't pay anything if we get hurt on the job.

Also, you can fucking walk out of the store with anything that isn't locked down. Just pick it up and walk out with it. If you want something that's on a locked peg, walk up to one of us, brandish something sharp and/or pointy, or possibly a gun, and demand that we unlock it for you.
>> Anonymous
>>71399825
I used to work at Denny's, and once I stuck a setak nkife between my butt cheeks and squeezed.
>> Anonymous
>>71400004
Fucking Biochem. I love my Bio but the Chem part kicks my ass. FUCKING MOONRUNES.
>> Anonymous
GameStop fag here.

Some stores actually have Battletoads. Only a few stores still sell NES games.
I scratch your used games, so when you bring them back, I put them in the defects bin. When I close the store, I get the disk repair thing and free games!

We don't care how old you are, as long as you have the money, we will sell you anything.

We have a script of conversation starters that we are given when we first get the job. We never use them.

You know that used controller I convinced you into buying? Yeah, that was mine, I spilled coke on that fucker. It doesnt work.

Half of the used stuff on the shelves doesn't work.

When you call in and ask for a game, my mood decides whether or not we have it.

You know when I say I have to go to the back to get a console or something? I just go to my bosses desk and drawPENISes all over his sticky notes for a minute or two.
Depending on your attitude, I will increase or decrease how much you get for your trade ins. oh, you say that on the phone you would get $30 for GOW, yeah, sorry, you're a dick, only $10.
>> Anonymous
>>71393872
I work at Best Buy, and make my cashiers sell you magazines.
>> Anonymous
>>71400170
Full compliance? Damn Radio Shack must have gotten shafted by lawsuits in the past.
>> Anonymous
>>71398051
David?
>> Anonymous
My boss is the owner of a chain of grocery stores, but it's just a cover for mafia rackets.

Just so you know, if you frequent those stores(not saying which), there has usually been heroin touching the produce you people eat for dinner.
>> Anonymous
>>71400282

i'm a cashier at best buy, and say fuck you to your magazines
>> Anonymous
>>71398051
>>71400384
fags
>> Anonymous
>>71400272

I manage a GameStop, and you're a liar.
>> Anonymous
>>71400259
Same here, you in the first year? The pure chemistry drops off after the first year and all the chemistry you do is really part of the modules.
>> Anonymous
I work in a chemical plant, and my coworkers are the laziest fucks ever. They fuck around and leave early every day, but our manager is new so he doesnt punish them.
>> FAGGOT
>>71395704
peep show much
original
>> Anonymous
>>71399821
Alright, I did that. I'll see if it works now.
Thanks for the help.
>> Anonymous
#_#
>> Anonymous
One last thing from me, VZW Customer Care guy.

VZW is now so large that it won't offer you a damned thing to switch to them..... but the other companies will. Buddy of mine called up Sprint and acted angry like he was going to leave them, and managed to get a free $400 phone, no contract extension, nothing. NO way in hell will VZW do that.

You just gotta work the system.
>> Anonymous
>>71395136
wow, you work in a police station?!?
>> Anonymous
I'm a tutor. Sometimes I fantasize about fucking the fat black girl in my class. Nothing amazing.
>> Anonymous
New Yorkfags will know this one...

I work in the bakery at a Wegmans. Two thirds of the shit we charge you an arm and a leg for is shipped in frozen from Rochester and we just slop shitty pre-made buckets of icing onto it.
>> Anonymous
>>71400691
2nd
>> Anonymous
>>71400010
yeah... I wasn't kidding...
>> Anonymous
>>71400943
I used to tutor, but I got fired for feeding my students bad information. (English tutor [seriously, if you're so god damn dumb that you can't pass a fucking English 101 class, go gargle a razor blade])
>> ????????Anonymous????
i do laundry at the local ymca. shut up. i wipe my ass with the exercise towels when i get sweaty, which is often. i also have pissed on the mezzanine mats and in one of the racquetball courts. i also go to work drunk at least once a week. summer jobs rock.
>> Anonymous
I work at customer service at best buy. If I answer the phone and you're a dick, and I have to transfer you somewhere, I will transfer you to some random department. They will transfer you back to me, only so that I can continue transferring you to different departments until finally hanging up on you right before the one you want.
>> Anonymous
I am a Sys Admin for a mid-sized company. I can see what my coworkers are doing at their computers at any given moment through remote desktop. They are all unaware of this. I can read any e-mail inbound and outbound.
>> Anonymous
Torrent trackers coder.
>> Anonymous
>>71401025
Oh, so are you working on your literary review at the moment (assuming you're a britfag like the biomed guy or doing a 3 year course)?
Some universities (like mine) thought it would be funny to make you do the literary review before the summer holidays.
>> Anonymous
I steal all new releases of games from my wal-mart and sell them at gamecrazy for fat stacks.
>> Anonymous
>>71401217
heh.

"Sir, please wait while I transfer you to our Tech department"
*transfers to Assumption of Liability Dept*

Customer: "wat"
>> Anonymous
I used to work at Subway and all that 'eat fresh' stuff is bullshit. The fresh baked bread is more often than not ancient and freezerburnt, the meats and cheeses are at least two weeks old and unrefrigerated for the majority of the day and we never changed the olives. Not even once. The reason Jared lost so much weight was because eating at Subway gave him fucking food poisoning.
>> Compassion
>>71401019
FUCK YOU I LIVE IN ROCHESTER
>> krawlon !!EZCXNQQXbrt
My name is Tyler Durden. I change the reels during movies. Sometimes I like to take a frame of pornography and splice in into whatever's playing. For one sixtieth of a second, a giant boner towers four stories over the audience after Bambi's father is killed. And the audience has no idea.
>> Anonymous
>>71401437

shit was so fat stacks
>> Anonymous
>>71401429
I'm Amerikkkan, we do things a bit differently here. Essentially just take the courses until you get the degree, then go starve and hope someone notices your resume.
>> Anonymous
I'm a developer at Yum Brands. At any given time, there are 3 or 4 active promotion codes that will comp your entire online order (regardless of size).

That's probably obvious, the secret is that the use of these codes is neither tracked nor audited. Franchisees submit a form each month that outlines the number of comped orders they filled and the amount to be reimbursed. Yum cuts them a check for whatever amount is on the report, they have no way to verify it.

If you find one of the codes, you can happily order a pizza party for your entire company and nobody is going to care.
>> Anonymous
I just got a job as a documentation specialist at a health insurance company. I'll be making good money, wearing a tie to work, and not trying to upsell people at a fast-food chain.

Have some dignity for yourself, you fucking faggots.
>> Anonymous
for any britfag UNI students here or will be. if you have ANY inherritance/monies put them in a long term isa account at the start of uni, then borrow from the gov't at base interest rate. the ISA ought to of got atleast 5% extra interest than the goverment loan if your smart. after 3 years it all adds up.
>> Anonymous
>>71401599
Sounds less stressful. In Britain you either finish the course, restart it or you're thrown out on your ass. On the plus side we don't pay too much for university (for now, I think tuition will be over 10 grand by 2010)
>> Anonymous
>>71401472

More like "best buy customer service, how can i direct your call?"

"uhhh electronics"
"alright sir, one moment please"

I then transfer them to appliances.
If you're stupid enough to call fucking best buy and ask for electronics, you deserve whatever hell i can give you.
>> Anonymous
you know them little milk bottles mcdonald's sells? well i peed in one and put it back onto the shelf, and chances are that someone you know, or someone you know knows someone that got that milk bottle.

tl;dr someone drank my urine
>> Anonymous
>>71401019
MOTHERFUCK.
I knew it.

The icing, imo, is way to sweet anyways, so I don't really eat it.
>> Anonymous
Dial 55* on a phone at Menard's to page the whole store.
>> Anonymous
>>71401742
Tried it and ended up spending it because I could acess it online, started with taking out a few quid to cover excess expenses and then bang. I'd spend an extra grand in 8 weeks.
>> Anonymous
>>71401919again, which one do you work at? I know lots of people at the Taft Road one in Liverpool.
>> Anonymous
>>71401781
Costs an arm and a leg and a testicle here. Shit's getting out of hand. Doesn't help that I'm White and thus excluded from about 40% of the scholarship programs. RAGE
>> Anonymous
Can and do the same, found out two separate affairs @ the pres/vp level. Three, if you count that one of them is between a vp and the pres. I feel sorry for most of them, because that shit doesn't disappear. Also the chick vp can cum multiple times from the rabbit the pres bought her.

We create shell companies to do work that is legally bound to 10 yrs warranty in CA. The shell companies are only legal entities of their own for 5 yrs. skirt skirt skirt 'dem laws.
>> Anonymous
>>71401679
>I just got a job at a health insurance company.
>Have some dignity for yourself, you fucking faggots.

you have got to be fucking kidding me. kill yourself.
>> Anonymous
>>71399268
Anyone can work for verizon...
I was fucking offered 3 jobs in a 20 min phone call when i was ordering a new razor cause some crazy bitch threw it out the window after i jizzed in her ass...
>> Anomynous
I'm like a hitman. But instead of hiring me to kill someone, rape.
>> Anonymous
I work for Obama and he's really a muslim manchurian candidate.
>> Anonymous
>>71399822
Oh well, a little seasoning covers the shit right up.

Still better than rabbit food.
>> Anonymous
>>71401306
see
>>71402016
>> Anonymous
>>71401653
Shit, I totally spaced out. I was, of course, referring to pizzahut.com.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>71401974yeah, with some ISA's you cant access it untill the period is up sue to the contract. i would suggest one of those than online banking. im getting £5.7K end of this month its 1 year early for uni so im taking 1.5K out for a new PC and bits (see pic, aleeady got an EVGA SSC 8800GT) and keeping the change left over from that. putting the rest in for two years again.
>> Anonymous
>>71399676
Dude, I fucked in a movie theater once and got a high five and some chicks number as i was walking to the bathroom to take that post cum piss XD
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>71402051
>> Anonymous
>>71401781
in scotfagland (most) courses are free for scottish born and raised people.

or for the fucking polish immigrants that have completed 2 years of high school
>> Anonymous
>>71402362
That's what I'm doing with my parents money now. They think I should be able to leave uni debt free so instead of paying my loans off they're filling up ISAs. My mum's an accountant and she also knows what a money waster I am so she set up postal ISAs
>> Anonymous
>>71402425
Wait you had sex, then you went to take the pre-cum piss did you not finish or what?
>> Anonymous
>>71402425
nice!
>> Anonymous
Sales Assct. at Ikea, we do fucking anything to sell shit. We have shitty pressed to gether wood, with a thin thin maple top, and call oit 100% maple, and you fuckers pay for it.

IF your a cock on the phone, and you want housewares, I transfer you to the File and Bureau. HAve fun giving them your name and all your PI.
>> Anonymous
>>71400272
I'm going to have to agree, most of that shit isn't true. I'm a manager at gamestop. I have a few secrets, but most are fucking common.

We play new games, it's policy that they must look spotless when they come back or you have to buy them.

I refurb shit on your trade-ins to drop the price if you are a prick to me, whether it has a scratch on it or doesn't. I'll find scratches, faggot.

You can pretty much rent from Gamestop if they don't catch on to you. Buy a used game, play it, beat it, bring it back within 7 days. Rinse, repeat.

You can sell us stolen shit, we can't accuse you of it, if we do, you can get our management on our asses.

I love battletoads calls, they beat the whiny assholes calling in bitching about how we don't give trade-in quotes over the phone.

We are required to say the following when asked for trade-in quotes. Something about "Top Value for your trades", Promotions and the Discount card. It's fucking stupid, but I say it anyways.

There have been days where I feel like shit and sit in the backroom and answer phonecalls. When someone asks if we have something, I tell them politely to hold while I check. Put them on hold. Count to 20. Pick up and tell them no we don't have it. Because frankly, I don't get a fuck if we have Madden 2003 for the Ps2.

You don't get less credit/cash for your games if they lack cases, but we are more willing to refurbish your shit if they are missing a case. If they are perfect condition and we can't refurbish them, we fucking hate you because we have to make a case for it.

There have been multiple instances where the nintendo rep leaves a game that is street-dated that when it's finally released, is supposed to go into the Wii system. I take them home and play them early. Metroid 3 and Smash Bros was that way. I played Smash Bros like a week before it was released. Shit was SO cash.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>71402609
>> Anonymous
>>71396871
I used to work lights. Essentially, when the rest of the crew was downstairs lifting heavy shit for the prissy ballerinas, I'd be upstairs fapping to those bitches as they stretch, wipe it off with old lightning cues and toss it in the trash when I went to the bathroom to was my hands off.
>> Anonymous
I work for fedex office, i make my own notebooks for "work purposes" with the really good paper and just waste it on shitty drawings
>> ???­?
I WORK IN X
I COME IN Y
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>71401653
so post one of the codes!! jonesing for a pie right now
>> Anonymous
>>71402569
listen to their advice. ive just finished 1st year of economics, law, business and (godforsaken) physics. so we covered some of this in class. tbh i broke my are 22 hours before my exams and so had to get a scribe last second to do my work for me :P realy fucked myself up there.
>> Anonymous
I'm a psych major in my final year. I work part time at one of the new Canadian Lowe's. Every employee can give $25 off per item without manager approval. We also price match, find a better price or lie loudly enough and you pay competitors price-10%. As a new Canadian company, not all the kinks are worked out, at least three couples got the most expensive fridges we sell for free... at least, closer to 100 people getting expensive shjt for free. Still works in every store. Talk to me for a stupidly good deal cause I don't give a fuck about the company
>> Anonymous
>w<
>> Anonymous
TEL MSG SER

IS phone sex, not a credit billing company.

If your husband has these charges, he's using INTERACTIVE MALE, or RED HOT DATE LINE.

Or some other crazy line, like 1-800-WET-SHIT

Yes, that's a real phone number - I worked there for X years.
>> Anonymous
>>71401019
what town?
>> Anonymous
>>71401653
DO IT FAGGOT
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
BURNT MILK
>> Anonymous
I work at starbucks, whenever someone asks for a grande chai latte, i piss in it. They always love it.
>> Anonymous
>>71402878
Dammit a scribe, those crafty bastards. I was actually seriously considering cutting a small part of one of my fingers off by 'accident' before the immunology exam, I was that shit scared in the end I didn't but the plan was that they would hopefully just let me pass.
>> Anonymous
>>71402032

Not kidding, and I'd prefer plastic. Thank you and have a nice day, you cumsucking loser.
>> Anonymous
>>71403110
eww i saw one of those charges on a buddys cell bill. should i call him out for being a homo?
>> Anonymous
I work for the oil companies, oil is just water with black food coloring in it.
>> Anonymous
Meat dept here.....same shit, 7.99/lb for stuff that costs us about 2.50
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I sell drugs. If you knew what I paid for them and what I sell them to you for, you'd rage.
>> Anonymous
I'm Santa Claus but I don't really care about my job. I piss in every stocking on the planet.
>> Anonymous
>>71403356

You can call and we'll have a recording of him making the charges too.

Just have his phone # handy.

1 800 416-7966
>> Anonymous
>>71403356
If it said SMS MESSAGING or PRM MESSAGING then it's not the same, it's "Premium Text" which is just a phrase meaning; You are a dumb bastard who clicked on a popup and entered your mobile phone #, enjoy your 9.99 a month charge.
>> Anonymous
>>71403279
it is nowhere near as good as it sounds. after the "incident" i attended 5 hours of law lectures, got lunch and then organised my scribe, swiftly followed by a 20 min bus ride (change fucking killed me) and a 15 min walk. then the huge wait just to get the doctors note so AQA would belive me. assholes. also i failed my physics because i couldnt draw diagrams / graphs and my retarded scribe had no fucking clue what a beta particle sign looked like or alpha radiation. it was fucking horrendous. 5 hours of bussiness/pysics the day after i broke my hand followed by 3 and 3/4 hours of law soild the next day pretty much assured my fail. economics yesterday was no better. :(

TL;DR broken hand = phail.
>> Anonymous
>>71402288
Give us a fucking code asshole
>> Anonymous
>>71403668
All i need is his # and i get a recording of him phone secksing with a guy? thats it, no other info?
>> Anonymous
I work at a restaurant. We have cockroaches -- big ones. Sometimes they probably end up in the food.
>> Anonymous
>>71403685

Exactly.

These aren't from us. (TEL MSG SER)
>> Anonymous
>>71403284

yet, you are on b/

I don't believe you have a job enjoy your unemployment...
>> Anonymous
>>71401019
YOU SICK FUCK, NEVER BUYING SHIT FROM YOU GUYS AGAIN
>> Anonymous
if you buy a tv, and dont spend the extra 200 bucks for a blu ray player.... you dont get a brand new tv... you get a fucking refurb
>> Anonymous
>>71401653
>>71401653
>>71401653
deliver pl0x
>> Anonymous
>>71403564
I sell drugs to distributors like you. If you knew how little I paid to import them you would rage.
>> Anonymous
>>71403917

No other info, just give the phone number and say you're wondering about weird charges on your bill... We don't actually know who the phone belongs to...
>> Anonymous
Worked for Eastbay/Footlocker Inc. If you order something from them off of their websites, you can call/email (email would be the best option) and they will reship it for free, at least once, usually twice. Any more than that they will most likely send it signature required, or tell you your sol and refund you. Also, if you bitch enough it will usually get you a free gift card.
>> Anonymous
>>71404185
Fucking win, thank you I'm gonna go blackmail someone.
>> Anonymous
>>71399832
wtf you're fucking senior citizens
>> Anonymous
>>71403869
Sorry about that. My uni is a lot less pedantic about extenuating circumstances. My tutor said that when I slept in and missed an exam he would have accepted a signed statement saying I had DSPS. I declined because I'm saving that one for my third year
>> Anonymous
At my job i clock in and leave. Also i cuss out customers but i never get in trouble. also i got a bj from my ex who i work with in the back work shop area. also i fuck dickhead customers vehicles up with a forklift every chance i get.
>> Anonymous
bank secret in canada

All canadian banks are bound by law to issue a report to the government about ANYONE who deposits more than $10,000 in cash at any one time. They are not obligated to tell you, nor are they allowed to mention it.
>> Anonymous
>>71395136

steww?
>> Anonymous
>>71404552

Same in the USA.
>> Anonymous
>>71404142
>>71404142
where can i get bluray for $200?
>> Anonymous
>>71404431good news is my cast for my hand is moulded in a perfect pint holding position. so atleast i came out with somthing :D. well its pretty much all holidays from here on in till august again, time to get drunk.
>> Anonymous
I run a multi-million dollar business

Secret of the day: multimillion dollar businesses are just as fucking disorganized as a mcdonalds franchise, and I smile in your face while you hand my salespeople $20,000 cheques and then I make fun of your faggot ass the minute you turn around.
>> Anonymous
Big Y
All that fresh fruit you see? It's just fruit with the mold rinsed off.
>> Anonymous
Me and Pookie added a special ingredient to the secret sauce.

I'll give you a hint...

It's semen...

ANIMAL SEMEN
>> Anonymous
I've jacked off into a baggie and dumped the contents into a blender before serving someone a white mocha ice blended.
>> Anonymous
I used to be in the US Navy.
got about a $1000 a week, benefits ect, and sat on my ass most of the time. My job was to make machinery parts for the ship, but most of the time, with current logistics, even while out at sea, you'd get it faster and better by ordering it and having it sent out.
I spent all my time making stainless steel bongs and pipes then selling them when we got back in.

half the shit in my house was paid for by the US navy and reappropriated to my house. Most people I knew did this, too. Includig projectors, tools, a big-ass welder, ect.

TL;DR wasted taxpayers money
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I used alt+0173 to by pass filers

P­enis
>> Anonymous
>>71401494
Hai I live in rochester, too!
>> Anonymous
i work for a cable company. i pretty much sit in my van and check out /b/ all day long. 8 to noon? ill get there when i get done fapping to jailbait on the side of the road.
>> Anonymous
>>71401679
Yay for denying people healthcare! You get a bonus if you deny more people!
>> Anonymous
>>71405226
I have cable internet and basic cable (2 through mexican) is there any way around the basic cable filter?
>> Anonymous
must /b/ lots of us from rochester then!
>> Anonymous
>>71402683
>>71402609

ZING!
>> Anonymous
>>71404972
yet another reason why i only drink black coffee.

back on topic, i occassionally borrow tools from the shop i work at for personal projects.
>> Anonymous
>>71405588
>>71405198
Holy Shit! Me too! I live in Rochester!
>> Anonymous
>>71405555
either take it off, then drill straight through it, put a thin wire down the middle and put it back on, or just take it off, no one will notice unless you have a service call at your housr, in which case, go put the thing back on before we come. a couple of pairs of pliars is enough to get it off, even if it has locking shields on it.
>> Anonymous
>>71405825
Oh, wait, no. I live in TX
>> Anonymous
Cirque du Soleil dude here:

If you live in New York, our show, Wintuk, is getting totally rafaced since it sucked in the first place. We're spending millions on that.
>> Anonymous
nya
>> Anonymous
I work for DHL Express. DHL recently announced that they would begin negotiating with UPS to allow UPS to fly all DHL USA freight. They have said it is a done deal, only the terms need be hashed out.

The thing is, this announcement, and the current contract talks with UPS are all just a power move to twist the arm of their current uplift provider, Airbourne Express (and ASTAR, to a lesser extent) for cheaper rates and more control.
>> Anonymous
>>71405555
also, you have to get caught stealing cable three times before they can do anything about it other than turn it off and try to sell it to you
>> Anonymous
i piss a little in the coffee every week, guess which coffee shop...
>> Anonymous
Regarding Dell tech support

- On-site support is bullshit, they're only contracted to replace parts, you have to do the troubleshooting yourself

- If you want a new computer, tell tech support that you smell smoke coming out of yours - that's a safety capture, doesn't matter if it's out of warranty, they'd rather replace it with a new unit than face a lawsuit

- If you want a really nice new computer, buy a PowerEdge 1650 server on ebay and tell them you smell smoke... you will get a brand new 1950 and no one will question it, the 1650 has a very serious and known problem with it's video chipset that causes fires... it's nickname is the "flaming dagger"... Dell has never recalled the product

- If they ask you if you already did something, just say yes... they don't want to help you do it, they just want you to say yes so they can replace it
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>71405850
>>71405850
I've seen the lockouts that are at ground level, I even have access to the split tool that takes off that filter but I think my filter is up on the pole.
>> Anonymous
>>71406342
then get a ladder and climb up there, no one is going to say shit to you. if you do it on the weekend, that is when we are most understaffed, there is no one around on pretty much friday thru monday
>> Anonymous
>>71406608
Thanks anon!
>> Anonymous
what can you use to get open the box that has that star shaped key lock for the junction box?
>> Anonymous
I sell drawings for thousands of dollars that won't last more than 5 years or so before they fade away completely.
>> Anonymous
Anyone work at walgreens? Are the cameras even functional there?
>> Anonymous
>>71406917
http://www.amazon.com/o/ASIN/B0002SPQKY/
>> Anonymous
>>71398410

ive worked with these in my college lab
>> Anonymous
I work for the marketing department of a big game publisher. Basically I lurk on various message boards and report on what people are saying about the game. Occasionally I'll start "viral marketing" threads when sales for a game start to decrease.
>> ShitNigger !ZSUf6hYZfs
>>71406229
I could make thousands!
>> Anonymous
I fucked a female coworker in the upstairs employee's bathroom.
>> Anonymous
these will work for the cable junction boxes?
>> Anonymous
>>71406917
take a vice grip or a pair of pliars, grab the llittle bit of the lock that sticks out and turn it. it only has to be turned like 1/4 turn, but it is on a spring, so you have to open it while it is turned, or it snaps back in place. if it is one that screws all the way out (like for the pedistals for underground) just use the pliars to get it started, then you should be able to unscrew it by hand.
>> Anonymous
I'm about to get a job at a theatre, anything I should know before I work there?
>> Anonymous
i work at costco

its company policy that if someone comes that appears to be threatening the register with a concealed weapon, i have to empty it out for em
>> Anonymous
>>71407313
what do you mean?
>> Anonymous
>>71407037
Yes. Beware Todd Lyle.
>> Anonymous
>>71407336
yeah, it's a dead end fucking job with a bunch of lowlifes. enjoy your job.

inb4 you don't know, I have more experience in theatre than any of you faggots,
>> Anonymous
my brother works in a on-line shop, jewellery and etc. his boss sells fake mont leblancs and rolex as "original collector watches"
>> Anonymous
>>71405198
me too
>> Anonymous
>>71407336
from what i've learned itt, bring some lubriderm and a sock
>> Anonymous
say you have diabeetus and you can bring snacks into a movie theater
>> Anonymous
at the elementary school i worked at last year, the principal constantly tried to get kids in special ed to be exempt from their testing counting on our record. she threatened teachers into giving those kids failing grades, even when they didn't fail, just to get them in special ed. next year, the special ed kids' tests will count no matter what, due to a change in state policy, and i am 100% sure she is going to try to get every sped kid in her school kicked out. not that anyone here cares, but jesus fuck, what total corruption.
>> Anonymous
>>71407638
Hooray, capitalism!
>> Anonymous
Do security cameras work at places like rite aid?
>> Anonymous
You cant bring shit into a theater regardless of reason. An old man was like going into shock because my boss would let him bring in food this was after the fact that he explained he has diabeetus.
>> Anonymous
>>71394767
>>71394341

Samefag.
>> work anonymouse
I work for a testing company ... our test's fail all the time ... our programmers are useless ... and sometimes your test just disappears...oh and our networks are insecure and data transferring policies are laxed...
es teh lolz
>> Anonymous
>>71408026
in most retail enviroments, the only cameras that work are the ones pointed at the register. any chane is more worried about employee theft than it is about you walking out with a cart full of shit for free. BUT SOME STORES DO HAVE SECURITY, so watch out. ask the person at the customer care counter if the security personell is there, then if they page them, its no good, just leave. but if they say no, steal everything not bolted down.
>> Anonymous
Most of the glass cases at Radioshack are easy to pop open. Just slip your fingers in at the top, pull, and they pop open. Also, if anything is on a combination lock, look at the receipt and get the last for digits of the store. That's usually the code. Have fun robbing us.
>> Anonymous
Here at Dunkin Donuts, when a customer comes in and asks for a decaf, he simply gets what everyone else is getting, which is a regular.


lol @ u decaf fags
>> Anonymous
protip: bring wrenches
>> ????????Anonymous????
bump for usefulness of thread
>> Anonymous
>>71408447
Ahhh kleptomania at its finest.
>> Anonymous
>>71408300
>>An old man was like going into shock because my boss would let him bring in food

lolwut
>> Anonymous
we obfuscate our contracts and subcontracts via multiple levels of shrink/reduce and copying so that people are less likely to interpret them and figure out how bad they're getting screwed.
beware, contractors, GC's are not your friends.
>> Anonymous
return fry's brand goods to fry's supermarkets to get a more expensive name brand for free.
>> Anonymous
>>71409239
Oh, extra GC protip from a contract creator/reviewer/revisionist. You can mark the contract up, seriously. Just because we're fucking huge and could ruin you, doesn't mean you have to accept the subcontracts carte blanche.
>> Anonymous
I come into work an hour late every day sleep most of the day and leave early
>> green
Britfags

Holding an empty waterstones bag, Pick a top selling book up from any waterstones, a book which'll be in any book store, make sure you pick one deep from inside the pile of that one book, one which wont be tagged and with price tags on. Then pick the book you want to buy, and go to the counter and say you bought this book (present best seller) and want to change if for this one (book you want), they'll do it for you even without receipt.
>> Anonymous
bump for moar
>> Anonymous
>>71408447
Any way to tell which ones are fake?
>> Anonymous
Medic here:

if you are black we don't work as hard for you

if you are an asshole your iv needle size gets way larger

if you crash more than 20 mins from a hospital we will not start cpr on you

2bcontinued
>> green
>>71409936

oh yeah and the good part is that if they refuse it to you, then you just walk out with the book the wont refund and noone cares.

Also someone must have said that in UK McDonalds students get a free cheeseburger or McFlurry if you present an NUS card when getting a meal, just bum around and wait for some nobody to buy a meal, then ask them if they can do it for you. BINGO FREE BURGER!
>> gentleman
a couple that i work with at dominoes always fucks on the pizza boxes before we throw our nasty ass pizza in there. oh yeah, we also re-use various resources *wink*
>> gentleman
>>71410678

oh yeah, a buddy of mine says that at taco bell they never clean the filters.
>> Anonymous
>>71408447

so target and michael's craft wouldn't either
>> Anonymous
>>71404176

I make drugs and they get sold to importers like you. If I knew how much you sold them for, I'd rage.
>> Anonymous
>>71400372
A guy once tried to rob a radios hack and(I forget hoe exactly) he got castrated.
I shit you not.
>> egas
>>71401306

Have you found any other /b/ tards at your company?
>> ?
>>71411326

Maybe somebody pointed spelling like yours at him and just let nature take its course.
>> Anonymous
i work in the mart department in a grocery store, that prepared crap in the glass case is about a month out of date
>> Anonymous
>>71410085
usually the ones in the bubbles are fake, the ones you can see are real... usually
>> Anonymous
I work at a grocery store, go ahead and steal all the alcohol you like, we are more worried about OTC's being stolen.

Oh, almost all our cameras are fake, employees are drug users and we can only watch 1 camera at a time without Grade-A Dell computers.
>> Anonymous
r>>71412036
ones behind counter are in bubbles most of the time
>> Anonymous
>>71412437
usually if you look at the bubble at the right angle, you can see through to the camera... see the red light on it, or just its outline. a good rule is if you cant see through it, how can they.
>> Anonymous
>>71412645

The only way to arrive at that logic is to disregard things like window tint and one-way mirrors.

Have fun getting caught.
>> Anonymous
>>71398410

Wow, pretty interesting shit for a bio nerd like myself. The quesiton I gotta ask is wtf are you doing with them?
>> Anonymous
I am a masked monkey and nobody notices it
>> Anonymous
>>71410190
how long does it take you to build an ubercharge irl?
>> Anonymous
>>71400170
>>71400170

Fuck yeah Radioshack brother.

Its true, if we are walking to the bank with a deposit, and a homeless man walked up to me and asked me for change I'm supposed to give him the deposit. Exact quote from what my manager told me.

Also, we are a cake to rob. Most cameras are fake, and we aren't allowed too leave the store unattended. If there is just one person in the store, ask them to get you something from out back. (Computer, monitor, etc) We aren't fucking futureshop, we keep them in the back room. Grab what you want while hes back there and walk out.
>> Anonymous
>>71406229

Can Dell jack up the prices to make up for all th
>> Anonymous
>>71414158

Clever
>> ????????Anonymous????
>>71414158
zoomj
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
One Reeces Peanut Butter Cup
Cream Based
One Pump Mocha

Best Starbucks Frappuccino Ever
Know a cool Barista? Try it out.
>> Anonymous
>>71412956
that's a good question though...how do you tell?!
>> Anonymous
>>71398410
>>71400004
>>71403358

So what the fuck does this lady have to do with Human Papaloma virus?
Is she the first case and it was just passed down or some shit?
Wtf.


Also, I want free shit from my cell phone company.
I have AT&T and they fucked me not even last week.
I bought the Blackjack 2 and a week later they make a deal for 100 dollars off plus a free 1 gig memory card and a car charger.
I went up there seeing if there was any kind of honor I just got told to shut the fuck up and deal basically.
Fucking RAGE.
>> Anonymous
PENIS
>> Anonymous
Heres one fuckers,get smart,why the fuck are you working? do your research,I am a lil bit of an older eurotard and am getting PAID 30,000 euros this year to go back to school/college to learn IT(Afucking plus,my only problem is not to pass out in class from boredom,I fuck all the little 17 year olds in my class of 40 people,fuck with the PC's,steal any decent hardware they get,and the govt also pays my rent and bought my pc and tools,and clothes,and anything else I can fucking think of,I'm going for a 2 year cicso course next year and will bump it up with grants etc to about 40,000 euros.only thing im worrying about is finishing and getting a real job.
fuck work.use your fucking head.
>> Anonymous
I work at starbucks. If you ask me for decaf twice you are getting regular. If I use an unmarked pitcher your milk is w/e the fuck i want it to be.
Also when you steal from us all we can say is "do you want me to ring that in for you?" and you say no i walked in with it and then you can leave.

If its really busy just stand at the handoff plane for a few minutes untill someone asks you what your drink was and then just order whatever you want, as long as its a bar or cold bar drink like a latte or a frappachino.
>> Anonymous
>>71415385

also if you hear beeping thats your coffee going stale. :)
>> Anonymous
I work for the fire department. Sometimes, during the summer, I light fire hydrants on fire.
>> Anonymous
bump for useful thread
>> Anonymous
I go to MIT.

My life is a living hell.
>> Anonymous
i am so tempted sometimes, then i remember id be thrown in jail for giving my secrets
>> Anonymous
>>71416038
dur, faggot, lrn2read
>> ????????Anonymous????
>>71416032
did you actually think it would be fun
>> Anonymous
Cock Mongler here

I secretly hate mongling cocks... I kinda just want to have consensual sex in the missionary position
>> SUBWAY Anonymous
I work at Subway and it's very easy to scam double meat during lunch rush. If you ask Sandwich Artist #1 (the one who pulls the bread and puts the meat on) for double meat, by the time your sub makes it down the line to Sandwich Artist #3 (the one who is finishing up with vinegar and oil or mustard or mayo) and then to the cashier, nobody knows what the fuck's going on. Just tell the cashier what sandwich you had and don't say double meat.
>> Anonymous
Any of you assholes work for Apple and know of any useful ways of getting their incredibly expensive computers for cheap?
Loopholes etc.
>> Anonymous
p_q
>> noko Anonymous
>>71408026
i work at rite aid!

we dont have cameras except behind the counter in the front, and by the pharmacy, but our break room is up a flight of stairs, and in it is a huuuuge ass one-way window (looks like a mirror to you) that overlooks the whole store.
>> Anonymous
I work at Wendy's. The beef patties are frozen.
>> Anonymous
>>71417049
I was wondering that. It seemed logically impossible to keep meat there and not freeze it.
>> Anonymous
>>71416769
randomly go in the store "just browsing" until you find a tolerable chick working at the genius bar. hand her your iPod with some bs about how you think it's broken but when you pull it out of your pocket "accidentally" drop a joint on the floor. every girl who works at any apple store smokes copious herb, fucken guaranteed. she sees you picking up that fatty, she's going to be all over you. tap it for 2 weeks, (ab)use her employee discount, split and forget. unless she's actually hawt in which case just keep tapping.
>> Anonymous
Most of you fags probably won't know what this is,
But I work at Heinens in Northeast Ohio.

Not a single one of the stores has working security cameras.
And the beer and pop supplies aren't labeled.
Instead they're pushed out as people take them, by the grocery workers.
So basically there's no stock count for alcohol or pop.
and without cameras there's literally no way you could get caught unless it all fell out as you were walking out of the store.
>> Anonymous
>>71417626
no girls in the apple store. enjoy your aids, faggot
>> Anonymous
>>71416038
you are anonymous here /b/rother! share away
>> Anonymous
>>71417626
Shit.
Thanks Anon!
Legacy Village here I come!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>71417910
Clearly you're shopping at the wrong Apple store.
>> ­
>>71417626
can't tap a macfag, bitch would be used to tiny cawks (like as thin as an airbook), wouldn't be able to handle a windows guy.
>> Anonymous
>>71398342
ZOMG My name is Shauna and I'm a CNA. Do I know you?
>> ­
>>71418550
girl in right could lose a few pounds, girl on left is asian..
>> ­
>>71418710
do you have huge bewbs? pics nao so we can all decide
>> Anonymous
Any AT&T anons know a way I can get them to replace a phone I broke 6 months ago without warranty?
>> Anonymous
>>71418965
Second.
>> Anonymous
>>71418710
David?
>> Anonymous
>>71417881
tee hee you said pop. I am from the south, saying that lemme rephrase my statement.
hee, haw.You have a purty mouth...
>> Anonymous
>>71418789
You are awefully picky for a fat smelly /b/tard
>> Anonymous
I work at Harvey's.
We accept expired coupons.
We even accept the competition's coupons.
>> Anonymous
I work at Microsoft, we really did code Vista shittily to rape enterprise customers with extended XP license costs and to force consumers to upgrade to Win7 at a higher cost when it's released.
>> Anonymous
>>71419029
How long have you owned it?
>> ????????Anonymous????
>>71419358
did you also reverse engineer OSX and take tips from unix when you made vista?
>> Anonymous
>>71419685
>reverse engineer
It is an OS, not a fucking space ship.
>> Anonymous
>>71419685
The managers wanted something "Mac like", but it took six months or so for them to fucking agree on a design, that's why it's all over the damn place.

lolunix, try even mentioning that to the upper management and they go apeshit. As far as their delusions work, Windows is the best operating system because it sells most.
>> Anonymous
Come anon i'm looking in getting some free shit
>> Anonymous
I work for a major supermarket chain in FL... the cameras do work but they are rarely manned (the feed goes to the manager's office and they are usually never in there) and when they are they are staring at the registers. Go steal the entire goddamn store
>> Anonymous
I work for a auto part store and If a customer pisses us of we go into the back and brake the part he wants put it back in the box and then destroy the warranty file so they cant return it the biggest one we ever did was a $300 battery.
>> Anonymous
>>71420696
>>71420368
thank you
>> Anonymous
I work at a bubble wrap factory.

Sometimes I fart into the air intake of the bubble machine.
>> Anonymous
I obsessively pop bubble wrap in the back of my store, sometimes, it smells like farts.
>> Anonymous
>>71421016
ohmylol
>> Anonymous
>>71420696
me again. and if ur an ass to anyone that works in the store and ask to go find something in the back... when asked everyone of us will walk back into the back loading area... stare at nothing for like 5min then come back out and say we cant find shit. Be nice to your grocery store employess. Oh and I routinely go down the chip aisle and squeeze as many bags of chips as i want :P
>> Anonymous
>>71421016
Thats not funny. My son popped a bubble and it smelled like farts. Well my wife was raised crazy strict and was told that farting was evil. She beat my son half to death. I then beat the other half to death for making my wife angry. I like her angry.
>> Anonymous
I work at Spencer's.

sometimes i pump air into the fart machines.
>> Anonymous
>>71421307

My brother died that way.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
http://www.mmoglider.com/
I don't work, my pc does.
I sell characters for 100 USD each.
about 20 a month
>> Anonymous
I obcessively press the button on my fart machine at work... sometimes it sounds like air....
>> cide !3GqYIJ3Obs
everything. We smoke on the line, drop shit on the ground......drink in the bathroom.....
>> Anonymous
>>71419127
I know a Daniel? Colorado?
>> FOAR THE LULZYS
I WORK WITH THIS DOUCE WHO JUST BECAME THE BOSS AND HE HIRED HIS WIFE HERE AT WORK(HOTEL) TO, HE ALSO LIKES COCK AND EVEY1 KNOWS IT, SO DOES MAIN OFFICE, THIS IS WHERE I NEED MY ARMY I NEED GAY SPAM EMAILED TO HIM AT HIS WORK EMAIL, AS THE MAIN OFFICE SCREENS MAIL!!! HIS NAME IS IN THE EMAIL

david.dupree2@hilton.com

THIS IS CEMO CURING /b/
>> Anonymous
My father died that way.
>> Anonymous
I work at Ace Hardware. At my particular store (I'll give you one hint, its in Long Island, NY) we have NO cameras at all. None. There isn't a single security device in the store. There is nothing at the door that will set off an alarm if you have any products you didn't for. It is in fact my job as a cashier to make sure that no one is leaving the store with shit they didn't pay for.

The stores that do have cameras are obvious, you won't even see any fake cameras in my store (except for one obviously fake camera).

Have fun stealing.

PS. I decided I don't care if anyone knows... Its in Bellmore.

PPS. If you want to return something with out a receipt (like something you just picked up off the shelf, hint hint) you will get a store credit for it. Pretend to return something, then use the credit to buy shit.
>> ????????Anonymous????
>>71421914
gtfo fgt
>> Anonymous
>>71395853
Probably the reason Snacks isn't here anymore.
>> Anonymous
I WORK WITH THIS DOUCE WHO JUST BECAME THE BOSS AND HE HIRED HIS WIFE HERE AT WORK(HOTEL) TO, HE ALSO LIKES COCK AND EVEY1 KNOWS IT, SO DOES MAIN OFFICE, THIS IS WHERE I NEED MY ARMY I NEED GAY SPAM EMAILED TO HIM AT HIS WORK EMAIL, AS THE MAIN OFFICE SCREENS MAIL!!! HIS NAME IS IN THE EMAIL

david.dupree2@hilton.com

THIS IS CEMO CURING /b/
>> Anonymous
Also, Blockbuster is super easy to steal from. We have a no chase policy. Pretty much you get outside your good to go. I've stolen an assload of shit from them. Movie collection is amazing.
>> Anonymous
>>71421565
Does this work with other games?
>> Anonymous
I WORK WITH THIS DOUCE WHO JUST BECAME THE BOSS AND HE HIRED HIS WIFE HERE AT WORK(HOTEL) TO, HE ALSO LIKES COCK AND EVEY1 KNOWS IT, SO DOES MAIN OFFICE, THIS IS WHERE I NEED MY ARMY I NEED GAY SPAM EMAILED TO HIM AT HIS WORK EMAIL, AS THE MAIN OFFICE SCREENS MAIL!!! HIS NAME IS IN THE EMAIL

david.dupree2@hilton.com

THIS IS CEMO CURING /b/>>71422795
>>71422795
>>71422795
>> Anonymous
I'm a prison guard/investigator. If I find out that you are a pedophile, have raped a child, murdered a child, or pretty much done anything to a child, I tell the head gangmember of whatever race you are.

Inmates have a skewed code of honor. One of the biggest and universal rules: "You fuck with kids, you die."

If any of you DO get arrested for a crime related to the harming of a child, a guard will rat you out.

There is a way to bypass the issue but why would I let that information out?
>> Anonymous
Hi, I go to 4chan a lot.
Did you know you can click on the No.
>> Anonymous
>>71422795
What do you think?
>> Anonymous
>>71421565
How does 24,000 a year suit you?
You fucking piece of shit.
>> Anonymous
I WORK WITH THIS DOUCE WHO JUST BECAME THE BOSS AND HE HIRED HIS WIFE HERE AT WORK(HOTEL) TO, HE ALSO LIKES COCK AND EVEY1 KNOWS IT, SO DOES MAIN OFFICE, THIS IS WHERE I NEED MY ARMY I NEED GAY SPAM EMAILED TO HIM AT HIS WORK EMAIL, AS THE MAIN OFFICE SCREENS MAIL!!! HIS NAME IS IN THE EMAIL

david.dupree2@hilton.com

THIS IS CEMO CURING /b/
>> Anonymous
i landscape

we really just chuck all the extra branches and rocks and shit in the woods
>> Anonymous
im in love with oen of my coworkers and she's dating one of my firends. aslso im drunk
>> Anonymous
I work at a deli. If you want the brand new fresh shit, go for the meat on the bottom of the pile or the food in the back of the row.
>> Anonymous
>>71423103
Yes?
>> Anonymous
Hey, how about a "Yum!" (Pizza Hut) promotion code for /b/?

I could go for a pizza.
>> Anonymous
>>71399110
To quote the well established creepypasta:
Humans can lick, too.
Think about it...
>> Anonymous
>>71422795
No , but there are similar programs for just about every mmo. just google " <your favorite mmo> " and " bot " and you'll find lots of stuff. Sure you're smart enough to know whats real and whats fake. I suggest getting a new account to try it your first time, unless you don't care about potential ban.
>> Anonymous
I work in a deli and we are supposed to only leave hot food out in the hot cases for 4 hours, we just take them in the back and replace the time on the "MADE FRESH AT..." sticker to say a more recent time and put it back out.

My co-workers don't dry the parts to the fryer, so it's still wet with cleaning chemicals (grease cutter, sanitizer) when they put the oil back in. Enjoy your chemically fried chicken.

We take extra slices of meat and put them in our sandwich shop, they're only supposed to be there for 1 day, but every day we just change the label to say it expires the next day. ENJOY YOUR OLD SANDWICHES.
>> Anonymous
>>71423336
Glider is a tool that plays your World of Warcraft character for you, the way you want it. It grinds, it loots, it skins, it heals, it even farms soul shards... without you.
Glider is a tool that plays your World of Warcraft character for you, the way you want it.
Glider is a tool that plays your World of Warcraft character for you
Glider is a tool that plays your World of Warcraft character
plays your World of Warcraft character
plays your World of Warcraft
World of Warcraft
NO, BITCH.
>> Anonymous
>>71423503
Woo monies for me!
What MMO do retarded/lazy people generally pay money for?
>> Anonymous
>>71423631
all of them
>> Anonymous
>>71423847
Excellent.
>> Anonymous
>>71423628
lot of gliders in the forums are channers
fail harder
>> Anonymous
im a drug dealer,i go to a guys house at 10:30 pick up the shit hit the alleys by 11:00, back to the guys house for his cut 20-30% and am back home by 3 i work the days i want i have no boss and sometimes i pee all over your shit...
>> Anonymous
>>71423631
WoW
>> Anonymous
I WORK WITH THIS DOUCE WHO JUST BECAME THE BOSS AND HE HIRED HIS WIFE HERE AT WORK(HOTEL) TO, HE ALSO LIKES COCK AND EVEY1 KNOWS IT, SO DOES MAIN OFFICE, THIS IS WHERE I NEED MY ARMY I NEED GAY SPAM EMAILED TO HIM AT HIS WORK EMAIL, AS THE MAIN OFFICE SCREENS MAIL!!! HIS NAME IS IN THE EMAIL

david.dupree2@hilton.com

THIS IS CEMO CURING /b/
>> Anonymous
I raped my Boss in the Ofice, Twice.
>> Anonymous
DOMINOS PIZZA IN BENSALEM PA HAS ROACHES
>> Anonymous
>>71424059
Don't you have to pay to play that? How do I expect to make money while your expecting me to spend it all?
>> Anonymous
>>71424034
sometimes I shit in the alley
>> Anonymous
I work as a telemarketer and in order to skirt the do not call restrictions we will tell you "I must have dialed the wrong number" then read back your number to you with one number off to get you to shut up about it.
>> Anonymous
>>71424336
being a hobo isn't a job
>> Anonymous
o_O
>> Anonymous
>>71417626

Bullshit. I'm a female, I work at an Apple store, I don't smoke weed and I won't let you get near the bar without an appointment.

Plus, our discount is one a year, so good luck trying to find someone who will give it to you.
>> Anonymous
>>71424325
glide your character 3 times a day, takes about 5 mins to go from point a to point b, then you turn it on, 8 hours later you have 3 levels and you didn't even play, then spend 5 mins moving from point b to c and repeat. do that 20-30 times (or less if you're smart) and you have a 70 character that will sell for 75-250 dollars
when you get the game your first month is free.
you can easily glide a character to 70 in a month
>> Anonymous
each time someone complains that the theater is too cold, I turn the temperature down 5 degrees.
>> Anonymous
>>71424413
lol genius
>> Anonymous
>>71396198

Liar. No such thing yet. Apple employees don't know when shit it coming out until the day it comes out.
>> Anonymous
>>71424325
>>71424955
watch this video, gets really good at about 1:30
>> Anonymous
I work at Blockbuster

If you call and ask if we have a movie and we have less than 5, we don't have it.

No we can't hold movies for you, It's policy and we just don't care.

Our computer systems are DOS based, so stop complaining about how shitty our registers are.

Yes candy is severely overpriced, if you don't like it, go to a convenience store.

If we don't like you we'll either give you the scratched disks or not have your movie

It's not our fucking fault you keep your goddamn movies too long.

Here's the policy: 2-7 Day rental period, Then a 7 day grace period, then we charge you the selling price of the movie, you then have 30 days to bring it back. A fucking month. If you can't remember to bring a movie back within a fucking month, you deserve the charge.

National Treasure 2 has a 2 on the front of it, if you can't notice that you grabbed National Treasure 1, we'll rent you the wrong movie and leave a warning on your account so you can't exchange it.

We can do exchanges, easily. We don't like to because every time we do a credit, corporate yells at us. Apparently every dollar that comes into Blockbuster territory is sacred.

Half of the security camera's aren't even hooked up.

The security sensors don't work, and if they do, we don't even pay attention to them.

more 2 come
>> Anonymous
If you ask me of other stores' inventories, i'll keep you on hold for 10 minutes then tell you they're sold out.
>> Anonymous
>>71425428
guess it'd be good to link the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZpACFPIpuQ
>> L'Arachel
Things to know at Target:
-The employees are only trained in how to work at Target, not the products. Anything an employee tells you is either from their personal experiences or lies.
-Target cares more about its image than prices, and rarely has a good deal.
-If you get access to an employee discount card, let it be known that the card is tracked through the transactions and is actually looked at more than Target Credit Cards' transactions.
-Many stores got rid of their taco bell part of the food avenue section because of insect infestations. Those with Pizza Hut are often having problems with roaches (Specifically NJ)
-Based off all targets in jersey, all cameras are functioning right, no stealing help there.
-Some people can get a brand new camera by first buying a cheap ass camera and getting a warranty for it, and when warranty is about to go up, smash it and redeem it. The camera is likely to not be carried anymore and Targets will pretty much NEVER repair it, so you get the newest version of that brand of camera. (Risky though, just something to think about doing with ANY sort of warranty package)
-We don't care about your business, threatening to leave will do shit. Most the workers don't give a shit about you there.
-NEVER get a video game warranty shit. Unless you expect your family/friends/yourself to break the fucking thing, it's useless.
-Target cards will auto upgrade to Target Visa in 1 year no matter what your credit is. Exception is cancellation and if you over limit at that time.
>> Anonymous
>>71399547
hell fucking yeah, me too. I sit in a fucking booth for 8 hours reading/playing jump. its great!
>> Ex-Target Worker L'Arachel
-Wiis usually come on Sundays and Wednesdays.
-A popular (but known to Target) way to steal items is to have two pillows on top of your cart with merchandise you are going to steal on the bottom. People steal hordes of DVDs and unlocked videogames like this. Don't ever go store to store in your area in one day, Target usually contacts all within its state. Do it only once a week so they will forget. (But NEVER go back to the same store until a month passes)
Also you may learn a few tricks here:
http://community.livejournal.com/targetslaves/

Mostly rants from workers, but some reveal tricks they find out.
>> Anonymous
>>71400272
Load of shit anon. Load of shit.
>> Anonymous
I work at CERN, despite being some of the smartest people on the planet, we are alone and miserable. When the LHC goes active we will have our revenge.
>> Anonymous
I hate selling you extra shit more than you hate hearing about it. YOU hear about it once, I have to say it EVERY fucking transaction. Chill the fuck out, it really doesn't hurt my feelings when you say 'no' to everything. In fact, PLEASE say 'no' to everything. you'll get fucked if you say 'yes'.
>> Anonymous
>>71426459
not at all.

like>>71400272, I too worked at a gamestop. if you were a dick, I would take money of your trade-in's for "refurbishing"... and the instant you left, I put them right in the drawer to be resold.
>> Anonymous
>>71397773
Work the Call Centers for AT&T Our credit limit is $250

Also, turn your phone off and then back on, it fixes most of the problems you call in about. If your phone says No servise avalible, then there's nothing at all we can do. Nothing. If you want to get to tech support, just tell the call center guy you get that your line was dropped when the last person was transferring you to tech.

If you call in and say that the store said they would waive your activation fee, we'll usually do it no questions asked.

Read your contracts. that fine print says that if you're rude to any AT&T Employee's we reserve the right to cancel your contract, and you owe us the $175 early termination fee. In my 5 months of employment I've managed to take down 80 callers.

Never, ever get AT&T If you're doing it for your small business. The people that run that call center are idiots. Every time I've called them to transfer a caller, they've hung up on me or dropped the caller.
>> Anonymous
me and my co worker make out every time were out of site of a camera and people
>> Anonymous
>>71426460
Come join us at Fermilab.
We are happy all the time.
>> Anonymous
>>71427447
can i finger your asshole while s/he kisses you?
>> Anonymous
>>71427571
Hedin? Is that you?
>> Anonymous
i sell drugs. i cut you short. and youre none the wiser.

: )
>> Anonymous
>>71420696

winn-dixie?
>> Anonymous
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kvDzK4RF57s
>> Anonymous
GameStopfag here,

We hate when people come in last minute before closing. We aren't allowed to tell you to gtfo, but we will not help you at all if you are taking up our time. We wanna go home too you know.

Second, trade-ins with us are absolutely not worth it at all, unless we are having a specific trade-in deal for something like MGS4.

Third - fuck all Wii customers. Whatever it is, we don't have it. They don't tell us WHEN or HOW much of anything Wii related we will get. It's all random, and if we do get it, we get like 2. Wii Fit is a perfect example. We get like two in a crate once maybe every other week.

Listen to us next time when we ask you to reserve something. We only get sent certain stuff based on the amount of reserves we get. So if you don't reserve a game before it comes out, you probably won't get it for a while. Stop being ignorant and just throw down five freakin dollars and make everyone's lives easier so we don't have to listen to you bitch when we don't have fucking MarioKart.
>> Anonymous
together we can hack the world
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Seem to have a fuck ton of Best Buy /b/.

Whats your store number? 407 here
>> nekobot !DsNeKo/fUI
>> Anonymous
/b/, there are only 2 reasons we have this thread.
1: To give information on how to get(steal) free shit from stores.
2: Lie about wherever you work (or don't work) so you can feel self-gratifiction on a false ray of acceptence that will never come from /b/ (AKA. Newfags)

So I submit we just make this thread for reason 1, since that's the only good reason to be here.
>> Anonymous
i fuck my boss's wife every time i work. in my boss's office
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>71395728

hey, me too!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Cash-converters-fag here. Aussieland that is.

Ok, seriously, Dont bring your shit to us. We hate you and you hate us and we all now it, so just stop. You stole it? Good job, now the police know you dumb ass nigger.

We are going to give you shit prices for things. I mean...Really shit. Dont come in here thinking "Oh I'll get $500 for my new PS3"
HAHAHAHAH $20 bucks dude. Go fuck yourself as well.

But fuck yes I'm playing it the moment it goes out the back.

and that funky smell in your stuff when you FINALLY get some money and pay our outrageous interest fees...

I shat in the bag.
Or came on it.

Man I love cumming on other peoples things. Especially yours.
>> Anonymous
>>71429113

That reserve a game garbage is such bullshit. Why the fuck would you turn down a customer, first. You know as well as I do that every reserved copy doesn't sell. Second, I can walk across the goddamned street to Target/Bestbuy/whatever store, and get the game no questions asked, in 5 minutes.

That's why I feel no guilt fucking with you faggots and wasting your time.
>> Anonymous
>>71426957
lol, i ran a gamestop for 4 years man, you are a blatant liar sir. Free games my ass, and you can't change the prices on trade ins, you can only lie about it.
>> Anonymous
I rub myPENISon the KFC chicken (I cook it)
Niggers don't know about myPENISrubbed chicken
>> Anonymous
My company is going to lose big in the next quarter
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I work at Boater's World....not that /b/ is Nautical or anything, but seriously, all our cameras are fake. I've worked in 3 different stores. Just take whatever you want - if you can pocket it, go ahead.

Also, in my store, our bathroom is in our stockroom. If you ask to use it, we are supposed to walk you back there and wait for you to get out. 90% of the time we wont. While you're back there, pocket a few Costa del Mar sunglasses and sell em on eBay for 200 bucks each, easy.

Also, if I'm working and I miss something you are checking out, aka hide it from me, and I notice, I won't even care, because it's more hassle to stop you and ring you out again for it than to just let you leave. Our inventory system is bullshit. I take clothes all the time by just wearing it out. Ask to try it on, walk around the store, put something else back on the rack, take all the tags off what you want, and walk out. I do it all the time. Nice clothes too - O'neil brand and stuff. If nothing else, most of the stuff we sell can be scrapped on eBay for high prices because they're "marine grade" which is just a label. It means nothing, but makes the price twice as high.
>> Anonymous
I work for a porn company (not saying which one)

here is a simple thing, find any site that uses CCBill, sign up check out your porn. Then call CCbill and say that a minor in your household used the card without authorization. They will cancel and refund and nothing can be done.

trick 2
put up a blog, go to any porn site and find the 'webmaster' link. Sign up for the program and tell them that your want to do a 'site review' for you blog and ask for an acct to review the site. 90% of the sites will give you an acct without question, the rest will ask for your review site and you just send them a link to your blog
>> Anonymous
I'm the VP of a multi-billion dollar corporation. I make $750,000 a year plus benefits. I have a wife and kids, but I've been fucking my male secretary for five years.
>> Anonymous
>>71426460
fuck you and your particle accellerator.
>> Anonymous
i don't check heights at the amusement park
>> Anonymous
Ive stolen 6,000 dollars from my job in the last 3 months
>> Anonymous
>>71430532

Me? Lie?? Never. I never said anything about free games. I just said if people were dicks I'd hit them with the refurbishing fee, which was 2 or 3 dollars a game- Which changes the fucking amount of the trade-in. GTFO.
>> Anonymous
I am a construction foreman

I watch the fuckers

No talking, Bullshitting, Do your work - Get your money - Get the fuck out - Repeat

Last time my boss was giving me shit over the phone and in person because i called in 3 days sick -

he said the workers were drinking vodka and taking regular breaks

We hire foreigners, russians, mexcians, ukranians, Most who work for us come from the ukraine and are 30+ years old - And drink - But not on the job site

Anyway, construction is simple work - just eat your fucking breakfast and get some sleep and come to work and do not fuck around on the jobsite - otherwise i will fucking stalk you and be a work nazi and correct you on everything
>> Anonymous
>>71431015
Bullshit I work for a 15 million dollar company and I make more then that as a middle manager (120k plus 20k bonus)
>> Anonymous
I work at an Apple store. I'm the guy who walks around with the credit card sales device and makes your life easier.

We have no idea what the new iPhone looks like, how it works, if it's even 3G, or when it's coming out. All I can tell you is that it IS locked up in the store waiting. Probably for the keynote.
>> Anonymous
Used to work for Papa Johns, yeah, shits wack. Depending on how much of an ass on the phone you are, is what kinda specials we have.
Wanna order a pizza 10 minutes to close, we'll intentionally let it fall off the oven, makes a really satistfying plopping sound. Then we wait for the cheese to cool, and put it in the box. Can't tell.
It takes 56 seconds to make a large pepperoni pizza, 6 minutes to cook it. And however the fuck long we feel like taking to deliver, because once an order is assigned, you only have to wait 6 minutes before you can "clock in" from that delivery.
Wings, usually over 2wks old. Good for a week in the freezer, last day before expiration, we throw them in a bin, and they're good for another 2-3 days.
We intentionally cut your chicken tenders into smaller pieces.
Sauce is usually 1-2 days old, depending on how busy we are.
If you make an order, and complain online, it goes straight to the district manager, who will usually give you 10 free pizza coupons.
>> Anonymous
>>71431724
Oh, and btw. We actually do have bathrooms in the back. We just don't want you pissing all over our white sparkly bathroom.
>> Anonymous
geek squad fag here .i just look through all your shit, copy shit and there's a program called MRI that does all the shit. i have at least ten copies at home. ps. if i don't like you i will find a bulging capacitor and send you the fuck home and take your 60 bucks.
fuck yeah
>> Anonymous
I work at a coffee shop and watch my manager sneeze and then touch your food. I also give skinny bitches homo milk and annoying ones spit.
>> Anonymous
I WORK WITH THIS DOUCE WHO JUST BECAME THE BOSS AND HE HIRED HIS WIFE HERE AT WORK(HOTEL) TO, HE ALSO LIKES COCK AND EVEY1 KNOWS IT, SO DOES MAIN OFFICE, THIS IS WHERE I NEED MY ARMY I NEED GAY SPAM EMAILED TO HIM AT HIS WORK EMAIL, AS THE MAIN OFFICE SCREENS MAIL!!! HIS NAME IS IN THE EMAIL

david.dupree2@hilton.com

THIS IS CEMO CURING /b/
>> Anonymous
>>71431730

Say it ain't so- I love PJ's! Anon- say it ain't so!
>> Anonymous
>>71422612
If you work at Blockbuster why would you steal from them? You're fucking retarded. You know those quarterly bonuses we get for selling shit? When we lose revenue due to stealing LP just taps our bonuses. Happened last quarter when two niggers came in with trash bags and cleared our entire fucking wall. "Yeah we don't have Cloverfield. Niggers came in here."

Personally I just rip every prestreet onto my beefy hard drives and have a deal with a CSR to make sure we get different ones if there's actually more than 5 good ones. Still gettin' bonuses and not gettin' caught ftw.
>> Anonymous
>>71411791
you can castrate people with bad spelling?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
hey /b/

original cat content here,

do your magic
>> Anonymous
I work for the shadow government.
SCP-001 IS A LIE! Do not believe it!
Oh shit! They're tracking me. Damned if I'm getting terminated! They're gonna have to fight me first!
BTW, work secret: "Terminated" does not mean 'just fired'.
>> Anonymous
>>71431247
GameStop fag here.

Some stores actually have Battletoads. Only a few stores still sell NES games.
I scratch your used games, so when you bring them back, I put them in the defects bin. When I close the store, ********************I get the disk repair thing and free games!*************

We don't care how old you are, as long as you have the money, we will sell you anything.

We have a script of conversation starters that we are given when we first get the job. We never use them.

You know that used controller I convinced you into buying? Yeah, that was mine, I spilled coke on that fucker. It doesnt work.

Half of the used stuff on the shelves doesn't work.

When you call in and ask for a game, my mood decides whether or not we have it.

You know when I say I have to go to the back to get a console or something? I just go to my bosses desk and drawPENISes all over his sticky notes for a minute or two.
Depending on your attitude, I will increase or decrease how much you get for your trade ins. oh, you say that on the phone you would get $30 for GOW, yeah, sorry, you're a dick, only $10
WHAT IS THIS?
ARE BRIX BEING SHAT?!?!?!?!?!
LOFL. Fail.
>> Anonymous
>>71432082
I say it is so. Lets just hope you don't like the chicken alfredo pizzas
>> Anonymous
I snatch purses/handbags/ Brief cases/ In manhattan

You want to show off your nice bag? I will run by you going 25 mph with my running shoes and fucking take that bag.


You can't chase me - i am in tip top shape. And i know the streets.


Also ipods and mp3 players, Anything that gets my eyes - i take and sell it
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
if you get your prescription filled at Walgreen's in NYC... count your pills..... there's a really good chance that a few of them are rolling around in my stomach!!!
>> Anonymous
>>71432654

Also, reporting does no good.

I disappear into the train stations.

Good luck with your 100% worthless police report
>> Anonymous
i work at a camera shop
we have kiosks that have flatbed scanners to copy old photos, if you do it yourself you get it for £0.30 per print, if you make us do it because you're a faggot, you get them for £4.00 per print.

I do card recoveries for people and fap over the good pictures.

I steal shit all the time, i have a box of camera film.
i print my own photos for free
i give discount to hot girls
if you have any sort of nudity in your photos, i'll save them for later.
i throw all sony cameras around before you get them

i get high and drunk at work

oh, and i play mario kart using a nintendo controller to usb adaptor rather than look for your order when you're a jerk.

i hit on the hot ones, i say i'm a photographer, it gets me laid so often.
>> Anonymous
1. Go to secondhand store.
2. Buy old Dell
3. do a transfer of ownership form on dell's support site.
4. Call dell and tell them that you cut yourself and demand a new system.
5. ???
6. Profit!
>> Nai
I work at a medical call center. I have all the doctor's phone numbers. I have all the office backlines.

We also have some commercial accounts. We answer for Lil Wayne's new website. I have the password to go in and give people free stuff.
>> Anonymous
I work for DirecTV, if you call in and complain, like hardcore, you will get showtime for 3 months free or credits like 10 dollars off for 6 months. Like i just hand it out like candy just to get them to shut up, trust me, they dont wanna hear your shit and will give you that and make an excuse.

try it and keep trying
>> Anonymous
>>71432350

That fucker was stealing. I was just holding out for you being a dick. internets: serious business.
>> Anonymous
>>71397773
AFNI ftw. I used to work there, and all of Verizon's customer service calls came through us first. If there were any left waiting, THEY got to go to actual Verizon employees. 90% of the time, it's just some fuck who's doin' a job that's been outsourced
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
By the time you put you food in a new refrigerator, twenty dudes have handled your icemaker parts with their ball-sac sweaty hands.
Enjoy that tea, sport.


Yes. I've put my dick in an icemaker or two before it shipped out.
>> Anonymous
I masturbate in the soap. A lot. And I steal food all the time too.
>> Anonymous
Hi i work at the airport, your airport.

If you go in and make a bomb joke or actually bring us some explosives at the security checkpoint we'll be so happy with your sense of humor that we'll give you like 1 million dollars free, seriously! try it!
>> Anonymous
To dellfag, even if it's out of warranty?
>> Anonymous
>>71432654
>>71432654
>>71432654


real niggas that rack shit in ny dont talk like you - nerd. you're full of shit, gb2 long island plox
>> Anonymous
>>71432350
Copypasta within own thread = FAIL.
>> Anonymous
I work at a Sobeys grocery store.

If you come in before closing we will attempt to make your life hard in any way possible.

All employees steal. All of them. It great, cuts down on the food bill.

NO ONE WASHES THEIR HANDS.

WE HAVE FUCKING COCKROACHES AND RATS. ALMOST EVERY GROCERY STORE HAS THEM.

No, I have no idea how fucking old the produce is. No one cares.

Sometimes we just kinda mark all the meat the same expiration dates. My manager doesn't give a damn as long as it sells.
>> Anonymous
>>71400004
LOL me too.

How about the fuckers that swear you shorted them 3 pills when you count by fives, and the C3 or whatever was double counted by hand at least 4 times? I will NOT give them more pills. I know which ones are telling the truth and the ones that are lying.
>> Anonymous
>>71433036
...holy shit just might be win. You sure system doesn't get listed?
>> Anonymous
>>71433997
I work at IGA and we have mad rats. =D
>> Anonymous
>>71395704

i just watched that episode
>> Anonymous
>>71407037
I did for a long time, and yes the cameras work, they are on a 24 hour rotation but they are mainly used for the Pharmacy techs who like to steal drugs.
>> Anonymous
>>71433712
If you cut yourself, they'll typically bend over backwards to get it replaced. They won't even ask for the old system back because blood is a biohazard. Most dell techs are spineless worms that follow script trees in a tool called DSN. (Dell Solution Network) They'll get a supervisor (typically someone like me, that spends all day playing on XPS systems that won't be released until next year) and be adamant. You cut yourself, you want compensation. They'll see it's in your name, they'll see it's out of warranty, and they'll make a snap decision on the side of the customer.
>> Anonymous
Ace Hardare on Long Island here again... Someone mentioned rats, which reminded me...

We have a mouse problem. They love eating birdseed, dog food, and cat food. Those holes in all those bags didn't happen because of shipping or anything... there was a mouse in there.

tl;dr Theres probably mouse shit in the food you just gave your dog.
>> Anonymous
That sugar free mocha shit from starbucks is under recall.
why? because they found out it fucking kills you.
>> Anonymous
I work at whole foods.


It's not organic. ever. we don't give a shit.
>> Anonymous
>>71434581
I work at Second Cup, I was wondering why it was recalled...
>> Anonymous
lso shake the larger bottles of generics when they're large pills like Vicoden.

after the pills are dispensed i collect the remaining dust, pack it in jell caps and gobble them bitches up...

no one knows shit cause each pill is unnoticeably smaller.
>> Anonymous
Verizonfag here.

HOW IS THIS THREAD STILL ALIVE?
>> Anonymous
>>71420696
PUBLIXXXXXXXX
>> Anonymous
several batman and speed racer toys? recalled.
>> Anonymous
>>71434839
>>71434839

your full of shit, i know mad people that work there. that is not true at al
>> Anonymous
>>71432654
may i apprentice you?
>> Anonymous
Off topic.

About 35 minutes ago I go into my local convenience store to purchase beer. i set beer on counter. Cashier rings it up. At the last minute cashier says "oh... it is past midnight. I cannot sell you beer"

Ok. Fine

I take 2 dollars and a quarter and lay it on the counter. I pick up the beer. Cashier informs me that she will call the police. I lol heartily and walk out, having paid for my beer.
>> Anonymous
Directv fag again here, when i call you asking how you like your directv and if you need help, dont fucking hang up, ima just schedule a call back a minute later, some other asshole gets the call and he gets yelled at.

Its a vicious cycle, so just listen and say yes to everything we ask or you will prolly get nonstop calls from us.
>> pimp !PdR3hkit7c
roflmao
>> Anonymous
i work at blockbuster -
we're pretty much going out of business. they're subsidizing districts and regions. basically giving managers of districts and regions more area to supervise to cut down on the amount of those types of managers.
policies to save money are becoming more strict.
Even if Blockbuster makes the merger with Circuit City there is a large chance the company will not survive.
Many articles i have read suggest that blockbuster will not be corporately owned or exit at all in the next five to ten years.
Sales are becoming increasingly difficult.

Blockbuster suggests tricking customers into buying worthless movie packages that they either have no need for or will not use.

fuck it.
>> Anonymous
I work at Toys R Us... we currently have the new PS3 80gbs, Wii consoles, Wii Fits, and lotsa other shit that we can't sell in our back-room.

We are waiting for fliers and release-dates to sell them. We just lie to you when you ask for it.
>> Anonymous
>>71431679
Our market cap is $23bn, and I make that sitting at my desk all day telling people how our software works and telling customers that it'll solve all their problems. And I leave at 4PM every day. You fail.
>> Anonymous
>>71435711

same. we'll only sell it if we're sure you'll get a warranty on it.
>> Anonymous
>>71431015

you were getting creative and thats all you could come up with? t

he numbers dont even make sense...

geeze, wtf happened to my /b/????
>> Anonymous
I worked at a daycare and the sad truth is, we don't give a damn about your kids, we hate them. We are only there for the money.
>> Anonymous
>>71425848
Target interview loopholes, pl0x?
>> Anonymous
>>71435669
To Blockbusterfag: Let us know before the company tanks so we can check out consoles/games and be able to keep them when it bankrupts.
>> Anonymous
>>71399972

kindered spirits we are. the best part is they never count.
>> Anonymous
I work at Meijer (similar to Wal-Mart) and when customers come up to me asking where something is, I tell them I don't know. I'll also ignore people in aisles without greeting them.
>> Anonymous
>>71436642

Well aren't you just a rebel.
>> Anonymous
I work at a movie theater and I sell R-rated tickets to anyone and everyone.
>> Anonymous
>>71436642
Being a shitty employee isn't a secret.
>> Anonymous
AT&T U-verse here... Tier 1 technical support has a low credit limit of $15... call in once a week for 3 wks with a problem (no picture, no sound) and threaten to cancel on the 4th week we'll send you to billing who'll give ya a month or two of free service.

Also are receivers are shit. New ones are coming out soon and all of them will have to be replaced.

We hardly have sports broadcasts either almost all are blacked out.
>> Anonymous
I work at a small entertainment chain called Hastings (we sell movies, games, music and books and rent)
if you go to our video game website and register an account you can get a free rental coupon, save the JPEG, print, profit, repeat.

As long as my manager isnt watching i give out free drinks. like an ass ton if im in a good mood

we can remove late fees that dont go over $15 with out our managers approval

also that door that says "exit" you can't enter thru that one

>>71408300
>> Anonymous
>>71436744
How old do you have to be to an R ticket? 16, 17, or 18?
>> Anonymous
>>71436744

same. always ask for ID's, though just for fun and the cameras. had some 16 year old just get confused and walk away. lol, fucking dipshits
>> Anonymous
>>71400272
GameStop fag here too. True shit ^^
>> Anonymous
>>71437281

17. only faggots gaive a damn, though.
>> Anonymous
DAMMIT /b/ STOP WITH THE WORKPLACE SECRETS THREADS

I'VE GOT FIVE, COUNT THEM FIVE, 400+ POST ONES FUKKEN SAVED THAT I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO READ YET BECAUSE YOU GUIEZ KEEP MAKING NEW ONES

tl;dr WORK SECRETS FTW
>> Anonymous
GEEK SQUAD SHIT IS TRUE

I copy porn and shit all the time
>> Anonymous
>>71437460
The Gamestop I go to card u every fucking time, which isnt really that big of a hassle cause im gettin out my wallet anyways, but still it's a bitch that still card. The people who work there ripped me off on my gametrades and practically MADE me get that piece of shit edge card.
tl;dr ripped off and they card lying PoS
>> Anonymous
>>71434500
I'm intrigued. I want a free dell, I have an out-of-warranty dell, but I'm in Canada, we aren't as sue-ey about things. think it'll still work?
>> Anonymous
>>71437440
I am 16 and i get R rated tickets all the time. The only time a theater won't do it, is if the parent is right there. When I went to see "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" , I didn't even realize it was R till after I finished watching the movie.
>> Anonymous
>>71437811
You could try. If anything it is just a large company policy, and if they won't do it, it isn't like they can get you into trouble.
>> Anonymous
I'm your friendly student government vice president... I get free tuition and then some just for spending YOUR money. Don't believe me? A state school with the lowest tuition and the 2nd largest in the state has a budget allocated to me of 16.5 million dollars. Wonder where those line-item fees went? That's right... you're paying for the Islam association's annual jihad bake sale!
>> Anonymous
>>71437958

you dell bitches. my jukebox mp3 shit had its volume down button broken and you wouldn't do shit. fuckin' outsourcing bastards- I could barely understand you.
>> Anonymous
>>71396198
I call bullshit. I work at applestore as manager and we still haven't received ANY 3g iPhones. Try ACTUALLY confessing job secrets, not being a faggot. That being announced, I'm sure that they will be announced on Monday, all our genius's think so as well, but no stores have them in yet.
>> Anonymous
>>71437813
UNDERAGE = B&
>> Anonymous
>>71437958
here

>>71438505
I am not a Dell person, but I would be happy to help you with your problem. May I suggest pressing the button harder?
>> Anonymous
If you live in California and call COX Communications, you're gonna be talking to an Ohioan /b/tard.
>> Anonymous
|get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger| |get out nigger|
>> Anonymous
>>71438660
Yeh I will get banned, right after that dude who made that CP thread that lasted 20 minutes does.
>> Anonymous
>>71438703

lol, you faggot. jolly good response.
>> Anonymous
worked at mcdonalds. ex-coke dealer used to lace happy meal fries with "salt".

we left edges of mcchickens frozen, for the lulz of maybe killing some old person with food poisoning.

this world has gone to hell.
>> Anonymous
>>71407037
I used to work graveyard at a Walgreens, and I can truthfully say, FUCK NO. The only cameras that ever work are the ones that point at the cashier's tills. If you come in on graveyard intending to steal shit, do NOT get all friendly with us. That's a bigger red flag than the dude who's clearly running on no sleep and just wants his goddamn Snickers before he goes home.

However, if you get REALLY lucky and come in on a night we're stocking, you might score some better stuff. We had an incident where one of the other graveyard dudes left a cardboard box FULL of cartons of smokes out on a counter less than ten feet from the doors, and walked off to check on something. It was gone when he came back. Some lucky asshole made off with $600 in cigarettes, completely free, and since it was just the one carton we never got a chance to pursue since the camera picture was kinda crappy and he didn't hang around.
>> Anonymous
I'm a recall coordinator. My job is to apply the formula.

Take the number of vehicles in the field, (A), and multiply it by the probable rate of failure, (B), then multiply the result by the average out-of-court settlement, (C). A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
>> Anonymous
>>71431957


I love you.
>> Anonymous
>>71439223

fight club fag is fail. get back to high school
>> Anonymous
i cum into the seat next to me at the back of the bus coming home from work
EVERY DAY
>> Anonymous
>>71439223
What automobile company did you say you worked for?
>> Anonymous
There's a good chance that any pork you eat has been infected with some kind of disease. Lucky for you people dont tend to cook pork rare or medium rare.
>> Anonymous
>>71437183
Washingtonfag?
>> nekobot !DsNeKo/fUI
>> Anonymous
>>71439223
you saw fight club.
congrats.
>> Anonymous
I do security at a concert venue and all the drugs we confiscate we split it up after a show
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I work for one of the worlds major railroads, and all the rails are ready to collapse. there all shit. its all going to collapse.
>> Anonymous
Armyfag here. Big secret. We love it here in Iraq. I don't go to jail for shooting an arab in the face anymore.
>> Anonymous
Dellfag here.

I could give two farts in a high wind about our useless PDAs and piece of shit mp3 players. You got a problem with those? guess what, you bought a piece of shit. suck it up.
>> Anonymous
>>71440742

only dell product worth buying is an XPS
>> Anonymous
>>71440742

only dell product worth buying is an XPS
>> Anonymous
I work at a small pawn shop and my boss sells Saturday night specials to anyone and everyone, no questions ask. He calls it "thinning the herd" which is a nice way of saying "let the niggers kill themselves so we can live in peace"
>> Anonymous
>>71435711
Also work at Toys R Us.
My manager makes me watch suspicious looking people. This happens often.
>> Anonymous
>>71402091

Still better than Bush.
>> Anonymous
I work at a grocery store i have once recieved 22 pallets of meat/dairy products that traveled 2 hours through arizona in a refrigerated trailer that the driver "forgot to turn on" it was to much trouble to report it so se sold it all